INTERMISSION

THE LAST SONG

2008-04-25T06:38:00.000-07:00

This blog will be temporarily closed.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

FUZZ

2008-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

If I could summarize the reason as to why I am in such a cantankerous mood into two words they would be – “Fucking Parade”.

I have never experienced anything even remotely as mentally taxing, physically debilitating and as brutal as organizing a parade. It’s far from hell. It’s DEATH. For those of you who don’t know I am currently busy being one of the head trainers for biggest event in the largest uniform organization in Singapore - The NPCC Annual Parade. However, I would not venture as far as to judge the whole experience too soon as this Saturday is the actual day and I have yet to witness the fruits of my toiling labour.

If I shut up about it then you can infer that it wasn’t as big a success as I hoped it would be.

I promise to be happier next week as I have laid out various activities for me which shall continue my streak of awesomeness.

Just a little update to tell you guys to stay tuned. I leave you with a tune that reflects much on what is felt when I’m wallowing in the depths of emotions.

THE GREAT PRETENDER

Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh ooh)
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no-one can tell

Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh ooh)
I play the game
But to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make (make believe) believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Oh oh, yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see (ooh you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a clown
Pretend that you're still around
Yeah-eah, wooh hoo

Too real (real) when I feel (feel) what my heart can't conceal

Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a clown
Pretend that you're
Pretend that you're still around

Fuck what you all think. I LOVE Queen.

FUZZ

I KNOW

2008-03-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

The despicable sight of you nauseates me because I KNOW.

I've been playing dumb, smiling and putting up a deceptive front but I KNOW.

All the things you said, all the things you did, all the things that you may think is history.....has only begun.

Your secrets were never safe with the person you trusted so dearly.

I FUCKING KNOW.

The both of you are DEAD to me.

I may forget but I will never forgive.

Although I had the last laugh, both of you don't deserve my time.

Now be deceased while I move on with triumph.

Your game is UP! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Five Rules For Men

2008-03-22T20:30:00.000-07:00

Five Rules For Men

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

Can't believe I never told this earlier.

FUZZ

2008-03-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

"Cannot Use Hand Play. This Is Not Malay Drum. Please Take Extra Drum Stick At Cashier"

Cracked me up like hell.

Me and My Grandpa

you know i'm LAZY when i start using less words.

FUZZ

Wise Men Still Stupid

2008-03-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said,

"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied.

"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Three?"

"That's right," Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Oh no," the man said,

"actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates.

"So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"Well it....no, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.

Relative Delusions

2008-03-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

All of us succumb to negative emotions once in a while regardless of how strong and secure we appear or profess to be. It’s how we assess ourselves from within that determines weather or not we are confident in handling the persistent obstacles in this long dance we call life.

The human mind is something I find incredibly remarkable. It possesses the ability to absorb a vast amount of information, masters the body’s physical movements, and not to mention ascribe intuition so much as to enable us to have these forceful surges called “feelings” or “moods”. This post is about something I realized for quite some time but never bothered to summon enough vim to put it up as food for thought for anyone.

You know how sometimes people refer to waking up on the “wrong side of the bed” as the start or cause of them having a bad day? Like how one minor unfavorable incident like that could unpleasantly affect the subsequent happenings for the rest of the day?

Have you ever wondered why when something bad happens to you which angers you, the rest of the things that come after it automatically become irritating and annoying? And when you score big time with some hot ass chick, a pain in the ass boss breathing down your neck doesn’t seem so bad?

I am able to relate to that sort of thing everyday and it’s simply because I believe that it is solely attributed to something I call “Relative Delusion”.

In layman’s terms – “Mood Shift”

It’s simple. The level of how we perceive what subsequently happens around us fluctuates depending on what affects our mood from the start.

Ok, the gist is I wish to write about a few occasions when this sort of thing affected me through different moods so here goes:

Happy

On one occasion, I scored a date with an awesome chick at Crazy Elephant. She has blue eyes, pale skin, good size, a little dumb but that’s ok. I was psyched about the date I planned with her that weekend. Burning with excitement!

However, that same week I had more work than a gay man in jail. I had to handle the training and administration for the parade, revolver shooting lessons, support work and listening to the ever demoralizing comments from my boss. Now usually, I would be deeply affected and dispirited. But due to the positive effect I gained from getting to know her, everything else became like stepping stones towards my agenda.

Lame

If there’s one movie that can put lame to shame is “Surfer King”. Go look it up it’s a budget film about some dude whose co-star is hotter than he is attempting to land a cool job at the beach resort for the summer. Apparently they went budget on the girls too. They looked like 30 year olds. Every minute of that movie was lame. We were watching it in the office and could bear endure the pain of finishing it. So we tried watching something else instead – Simpsons Movie. STILL lame.

Movie after movie we try our best to entertain ourselves but the lame effect that movie had on us automatically turned every hilarious or blockbuster movie into a lame sitcom.

Triumphant

Nothing beats the thrill of a power trip. When I hear the trainees or cadets answer me all at once with a resounding “Yes Sir!” when I’m up on the dais giving instructions in a parade rehearsal is simply orgasmic. I’m not gonna lie I LOVE being in control. But I’m not the only one unfortunately.

Just a week ago I was reprimanded for being rude to a veteran in the force they call the “Parade Legend”. Long story short, since that old hag is retiring soon, I named the rest of us young instructors the “Legend Killers”. (Originally from WWE’s Randy Orton who’s my current favorite needless to say) Here's why:

So, with that title ascribed to ourselves, we work with our heads up motivated and full spirited thriving on proving to everyone that we are indeed competent enough to overthrow a “legend” and make way for a new era.

Work has become more fun ever since.

Before I close this off and leave to join my family in Malacca for a holiday in a couple of hours, I would like to address an issue. I HAVE to at least mention it once or else it’ll be like having a white elephant in the living room and nobody says a thing.

We HAVEN’T caught that limp legged, potty breaking, ass wipe butthole Mas Selamat. My suggestion is get his wife and kids tied up and put em on ransom over national television. May seem unethical but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

May the police beat the living voodoo crap out of you for causing a massive traffic congestion at woodlands checkpoint EVERYDAY.

FUZZ

Some Girls Don't Give Head

2008-03-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the man.

"You know I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman.

"You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno... Never found the head..."

Words of a Thug

2008-02-25T03:15:00.000-08:00

A heartfelt song written by Tupac in response to Deloris C. Tucker who was an adamant protester against rap music for its coarse language. Mainly the frequent use of the common term - "bitch".

Along with it also brings a powerful message across to society directed at the women who use their beauty or charm to exploit the men they hook up with for money and luxuries in return for sex.

Enjoy and Learn

Wonda Why They Call You Bitch

You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.
You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.
You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.

Verse One: 2Pac

Look here Miss Thang
hate to salt your game
but yous a money hungry woman
and you need to change.

In tha locker room
all the homies do is laugh.
High five's 'cause anotha nigga
played your ass.

It was said you were sleeezy
even easy
sleepin around for what
you need

See it's your thang
and you can shake it how you wanna.
Give it up free
or make your money on the corner.

But don't be bad and play the game
get mad and change.
Then you wonda why these muthaf**kas
call you names.

Still lookin' for a way out
and that's OK
I can see you wanna stray
there's a way out.

Keep your mind on your money,
enroll in school.
And as the years pass by
you can show them fools.

But you ain't tryin' to hear me
'cause your stuck,
you're headin' for the bathroom
'bout to get tossed up.

Still lookin' for a rich man
you dug a ditch,
got your legs up
tryin' to get rich.

I love you like a sista
but you need to switch
and that's why they called
U bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Verse Two: 2Pac

You leave your kids with your mama
'cause your headin' for the club
in a skin tight miniskirt
lookin' for some love.

Got them legs wide open
while you're sittin' at the bar
Talkin' to some nigga
'bout his car.

I guess he said he
had a Lexxxus, what's next?
You headin' to his car for some sex

I pass by
can't hold back tears inside
'cause, lord knows
for years I tried.

And all the other people
on my block hate your guts
Then you wonda why they stare
and call you slut.

It's like your mind don't understand
you don't have to kill your
dreams ploten'
schemes on a man

Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open
either a nigga wear a rubber or he die smokin'
I'm hearin' rumors so you need to switch
and niggas wouldn't call you bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Verse Three: 2Pac

I guess times gettin' hard
even harder for you
'cause, hey now, got a baby
on the way now

More money from the county
and thanks to the welfare
you're about to
get your hair done.

Got a dinner date
can't be late
trick or treat, sweet thang
got anotha trick to meet.

The way he did it
it was smooth
plottin' while he gamin' you
So baby, peep tha rules.

I shoulda seen it in the first case
the worst case
I shoulda never called you back
in the first place.

I remember back in high school
baby you was fast
straight sex
and barely move your ass.

But now things change
'cause you don't look the same
let the ghetto get the best of you
baby, that's a shame

Caught HIV and now you 'bout to be deceased
and finally be in peace.

So where your niggas at now
'cause everybody left
they stepped
and left you on your own

See I loved you like a sista
but you died to quick
And that's why we called U bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Outro: 2Pac

Dear Ms. Deloris Tucker
keep stressen me
f**kin' with a muthaf**ken mind
I figured you wanted to know
you know
why we call them hos bitches
and maybe this might help you understand
it ain't personal
strictly business baby
strictly business

So If you wonder why we call U bitch
You wonder why we call U bitch
If you wonder why we call U bitch
You wonder why we call U bitch

Now you know

FUZZ

A torrent of randomness

2008-02-19T08:26:00.000-08:00

It’s been 2 weeks and I’ve been greeted with a series of events that had sent me spiraling into a kaleidoscope of emotions which momentarily left my spirit plummeting into the depths of despair.

Every revelation never fails to either leave me flabbergasted in disbelief, or whimpering in searing pain of dealing with reality. The only source of motivation which keeps me going is CHOICE.

I choose to be happy.

I choose to take it as a milestone which marks a significant change in my life.

And I choose to take a road with fewer sorrows lined up.

Choice is the only avenue I choose to harp on the slightest hope that all that’s happening are blessings in disguises.

Hope, though false, is better than no hope at all.

Wooh! Glad I got THAT out of my system. For the people who have read and went

“Fuzz what the fuck did you just blabber about la?”

Relax. I can’t possibly be more of an insane person than I already am and all I need is an avenue to vent out the emo inside me before I proceed with my life. (Or often self referred to as “The Show”)

Few funny things that happened to or around me which I only shall elucidate briefly due to my growing need to sleep.

Told by a Boyfriend to “Stay away from my girl”

For starters that pathetic excuse of a man should have opted for a better method of confrontation instead of being “Sergeant Gaylord” and msging me on Friendster! His exact words I quote “Stay away from *blabla* ……there are many bitches out there”

And what if I choose not to? What are you gonna do next? Get your mommy to call me?

Seriously dude nobody tells me who I can or cannot talk to so spend less time on gay shirts and mascara and start being a boyfriend! But if she still calls me then its clear she wants a MAN friend. :-P

Tag Team Partner afflicted with genital infection

Poor dude hooked up with a burner and didn’t wear his glove thus resulting in unwanted afflictions which caused so much physical pain that it makes you REPENT! Symptoms showed signs of hernia as he was hobbling down the walkway with his face pale and his legs wide open. But thank heavens it was something less serious. However, if he went to the hospital a little later, the infection would have worsened and he could’ve lost one of his jewels!

Dammit. Was looking forward to bringing a midget to the hospital and saying “Your even half the man HE is” after the operation. Sigh.

Valentine’s Blind Date

I was planning on writing about our date in a shrill tone implying mockery before I even met you however after a night’s conversation, I couldn’t simply find it in me to make fun of you regardless of how freak show you may look. Your beauty is the beauty that lasts. The beauty of the heart. And you gave me chocolates!

But of course there’ll be no 2^nd date.

DON’T judge me!

FUZZ

SEARCH

2008-01-27T04:16:00.000-08:00

I never had a favourite Malay group as I used to dread listening to them. Whiny nasal sounding crybaby numbers are not my pint of beer. But recently I've discovered a new found liking for this malay band. SEARCH.

I'm a MAT ROCK and have always been one.

Feels good to come home to my roots.

SEARCH - PASTI

SEARCH - PELESIT KOTA

Hit me back if you love these tunes.

No qualms for spreading the LOVE.

FUZZ

Emo Nemo...

2008-01-23T21:57:00.001-08:00

Everybody has emo friends. The ones that have stayed with long enough to reveal their vulnerable (or ugly) side after the barrier of formality is eradicated. They fall into a sense of security when they are around you thus resulting in them having no qualms whatsoever about being judged. They tell you their problems and you (willingly or reluctantly) listen, analyze, and conjure a solution.

Love it or hate it, accepting these people as your friends gives you the monumental responsibility of taking interest in their well being in order to bridge better communication based on common ground.

Common ground.

Yes. That’s what I believe plays the pivotal role in making friends - The fact that you have something in common. It could be anything varying from playing music, working in the same building, or even smoking, common ground is the central pulse of what keeps a friendship alive. Sometimes, through time, a pleasant common ground wears away as it is being rubbed by an unpleasant one – his/her problems.

Don’t get me wrong as I may sound like a selfish, intolerant, insensitive asshole who only wants to share the happy times and vanishes when you’re in deep despair.

I DO help my friends when their in need of emotional comfort and solace. I don’t dread it as long as the person I’m helping makes the conscious effort to help themselves. But the questions I’m asking here is;

How much emo is too much emo?

Is it possible that when you reveal too much of your emo side, you start to repel the people around you as they wish to avoid being affected by your horrible mood?

Will good friends tolerate you even when it gets to this level?

Well the answer varies when the subject of being emo lands on different individuals. However I DID craft a list of 7 common signs which indicate that you have transcended the thin line which marks the limit of being emo.

You know your emo when you're...

Alone

You sit back, you’re all alone just looking for some quality time with a book or a beer. Little do you realize that for most people, your emo state reaches its peak when you’re by yourself! When your friends are not present to have you forget about your problems and when all the activities revolve around you and you alone, you’ll start to think. About past disputes, or present issues. Eventually, when all these emotions begin conjuring, you take the 1^st step of action in assessing the situation.

Taking Walks.

You’re alone and you wish to forget your troubles. However, being alone reminds you of it even more. So you start a long walk from one end or the beach to the other as the cool breeze blowing past you whizzing into your hair. With every step you take you see couples making out, friends having a bbq and families having fun with their kids running around in their underwear. You begin to wish that you could be in their shoes at the exact moment, cherishing happiness as it is. You become saddened yet infuriated by the fact that life has placed you in an unfair position. You say to yourself “I don’t deserve this…” You then start an activity that to me is the most extreme and obnoxious.

Crying.

The torrent of emotions is simply to strong for anyone to withhold. Drops of sadness run across your cheek as you obnoxiously blow a clump of mucus onto your hand. You didn’t know you were gonna cry, so you didn’t bring a handkerchief. Unless your gay then you’ll have wet tissue. Oh you cry….you make the most out of this moment of breakout. Secretly enjoying yet overshadowed by the more emo aspect it. You sit by a corner and cry your lungs out.

Still alone.

Even more alone now that you’ve automatically become a people repellant.

You can’t bear it a second longer. You get home in a jiffy and the 1^st thing you grab is that tub of ice cream. Or whatever it is that causes you to start:

Inflating.

Eat your sorrows away. Call your best friend and cry. Every crack in life you experience you use as an excuse to wolf down chicken wings while watching Chinese dramas on Channel 8. After a good 3 weeks you begin to see yourself turning into a blubbersaur or blubbersaures (for girls). That’s the nickname I use to disparage the obese. The state of being too emo still continues to corrode your lifestyle, because you are:

Drinking less

Social suicide. You take away your own lifestyle as you have replaced it with this current position. You don’t hang out with your friends at the regular spot anymore. Your friends don’t even take notice of your absence as having you around would be a bummer anyway considering the fact that your left hand is vehemently attached onto the ice cream tub and you cant fit or have a big enough seat in most places. You stay at home while your friends are out having the time of their lives. You put more stress onto yourself as you start:

Calculating.

Counting the days till your death. But you chicken out as you lack balls now that your fat. So you do what is supposedly the right thing but at a COMPLETELY wrong time.

Calling Your Ex.

She/He was the one who got you into all this in the 1st place right? So you wish to work things out as you wish to return to how you were before. She tells you the person she's interested in is no chance in hell a fat chicken ice cream wolfing mucus spraying crybaby. Your crushed. Your over.

In conclusion, no matter what life throws at you do the right thing and throw it back! You don't need it and you certainly don't wish to end up dead. Have a positive mindset as everything in life I believe is a game. You compete against each other to attain that one prize - happiness.

May be preachy but you know its true.

Don't be so emo.

Go get a beer.

FUZZ

Let It Live

2008-01-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Ah rock and roll...the beauty, the passion, the lifestyle. Its remarkable that regardless of the differences human beings have, of which may set us apart at times, there is always one element which everyone loves and is a common ground in keeping us together. Music.

Though in many occasions I wished I lived through the glory evolution period of music during the 80s, I am thankful that at least some of these legends are still around today to entertain us all.

Metallica, Led Zeppellin, Sebastian Bach (ex-Skid Row), X Japan are only some of the legends that are present and enable us to feel the reverberated magic from back in the day and have us relive the music in this present day!

Though old, they still inspire. And as long as the inspired exists, their music shall live on.

Long Live Rock And Roll.

Been swamped with work lately.

Year started out not too bad.

FUZZ

Reflecting 2007.

2008-01-02T07:19:00.000-08:00

Yes its the new year and yes I'm still in one piece. Initially I intended to make this post an excruciating 30 minute read on how full of brilliance this year was to me as I was having trouble omitting and filtering between what were significant enough to be blogged about and what was not.

I loved every second of 2007.

But I'm too lazy to author a whole book about it. So I decided to summarize it by putting together a list of songs which reminds me of those memorable times.

MY 2007 SONG LIST.

1) 18 and Life - Skid Row

Reminds me of last year's new year's eve party at Vintage where we all went crazy and when I performed there for the 1st time. Still remember how Ricky told to "just go up and jam with the band". That was back before Slapshocked started jamming officially. Good Times.

2) Nobody's Fool - Cinderella

Takes me back to the time before we met Adora. Back when all Lola and I talked about was glam rock, glam rock and more glam rock! Back when he used to say "Oi rock kapak" whenever I answer the phone and we'd head down to vintage for a drink and more glam rock. Good times.

3) Real Love - Slaughter

Spirals my mind into the memory of the time when Lola, Hui min and I 1st went to Wala Wala where I became broke after paying for my 1st drink! When Hui Min told me "eh this band power you check out the singer" And how I instantly fell in love with her stage persona the moment she hit the highest note of the song projecting her voice aloud. Truly an inspiration.

4) Sounan - Tokyo Jihen

Hui Min and her projects. Spreading the Jihen love was when I met the rest of the Jrock scene. During this period of time Hui Min was already fired from the band. But all the changes occurred for better outcomes. It was still all good.

5) So lonely - Loudness

Reminds me of the time I 1st met Andy and Nana. Andy later took Hui Min's place in the band. Four of us chilled at Vintage that night when Lola fell asleep on the couch while the DJ was still blasting heavy metal. Crazy.

6) Rusty Nails, Weekend, Kurenai, Endless rain and X - X Japan

June 3rd. Enough said. Slapshocked's debut and supposedly last performance. But we couldn't bare to endure the itch of withdrawal when we stopped playing for 3 weeks. X is magic.

7)Heartbreak Station - Cinderella

Reminds me of you.

8) Art Of Life - X Japan

The band's current project with a new line up and My 21st birthday. Read Here

9) Love Is Only A Feeling - The Darkness

1st performance at DXO with Primal Gray. Good set. had fun. met more people.

10) Lips Of An Angel - Hinder

Is currently the song still playing in my head! Even as I'm writing this entry. It will lead me into posting an addition to my list of my "wise" theories. Stay Tuned.

So this is how I remember 2007 as music was most significant to me. Maybe THIS year there'll be a different list of things which will much better represent how and what had a positive effect on me for the year.

Please god let it be a list of smart, slim, clear skinned bespectacled nurses!

Happy New Year.

FUZZ

My Christmas Adventure

2007-12-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

"I don't fucking celebrate Christmas so stop wishing me a Merry Christmas. Would you wish an Indian dude a Happy Chinese New Year?"

The above is what I would've said if I chose to succumb to boredom and eventually veering into the realm of slumber on the living room floor with the TV remote in my hand. But I'm left speechless now as I did the total opposite. I actually "celebrated" Christmas. Or at least I did enough to make the makcik's around my neighborhood shout "Murtad! Anak Jahanam!" (translation : "Infidel! Corrupted Son!")

Ah. I love my people.

I went to a Church. I went to a Christmas gathering.

I witnessed a riot after some people had too much to drink.

The Church Musical (A Christmas Tale)

My direct supervisor is an avid church member who gets his "blessings" every Saturday by conducting Bible classes for the Church's youth voluntarily. So me being the asshole I am can't possibly stand by, lips welded with my head down when this comes to my attention. I MUST make fun of it. And I have done so much from reciting biblical quotes aloud in the office, to doing it while wearing his glasses, scarf and headgear.

As a result of my mockery antics I was invited to watch a musical in his church!

Two possibilities conjured up as he made that offer to me:

1) He repays insensitivity with hospitality.

2) He's going to brainwash me wish Jesus juice.

Albeit the hint of reluctance I felt within I went eventually and it was undoubtedly a unique experience. Typical musical theme accompanied by an excellent choir and an old balding bellied man with his arms stretched out whom they call - The Pastor. Jesus here Jesus there, then came collection time!

Guys, don't reprimand Christianity as a money grubbing organization. Instead, lets be more politically correct and say that they are financially aware! Hell I don't blame them. I'd be yelling "Praise The Lord" If people were putting money in MY pocket too! Hush. Such intolerance.

Dinner was Catered. In my mind "Oh no...Jesus food".

Sorry mom. I ate their brownies.

Got a little cramp in my left arm but I think I should be fine.

The Gathering.

The next day was Christmas. I was supposed to be there at 1 and I woke up 10 mins after. HP dead out of battery and eventually arrived at around 3. Menu was turkey, chicken, beef , cheese, white cheese, funny smelling "papadam" tasting cheese. The host sure loves his cheese. Went on to watch National Treasure after that.

Boooooooooooooooooring!

Lets get to the highlight of the night!

BLACK FIGHT!

It was after the movie and we decided to chill over some supper and talk crap at Bencoolen's Kopitiam. I never knew that place had African patrons but being around people of the like just made me feel like I was in the ghetto of some hood. (I'm a huge fan of 2pac)

When then what started as a heated argument obliterated into a mess with flying bottles and chairs and popping sounds! (Probably them cursing in Zimbabwean)

It was awesome!

Courtesy of Lola Okhrana, we managed to get a little footage of the scene.

Listen closely you can hear me in the background going "holy shit dude!"

The 1st bottle flew straight into our direction as that brother threw it to his rival! Man I felt like in another 2 seconds there was gonna be a drive by shooting.

The fight sure made my night.

Good food. Good movie. Awesome fight.

Just one element away from making it a man's PERFECT Christmas.

*wink

Happy Boxing Day.

FUZZ

A Surprise

2007-12-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

It’s an unexpected strike which catches you unaware. It often comes to fruition when your jaws are wide open, flabbergasted in awe, followed by a torrent of happiness surging for within. That’s a good surprise. A premeditated activity which is done solely for the purpose of evoking feelings of joy and gratefulness from the lives of the people close to us.

I dedicate this post to a friend. The one who loves surprises, plans surprises and usually sets a habitual trend among his close mates having us indulge in a string of surprises we have among ourselves to set sparks of brilliance in our mundane everyday routine.

You know who you are…..Lola Blackano Okhrana Romano. You need to decide on which ethnic group you want to belong to. Fast!

As much as I will leave hints of theories I opt not to torment you with much of it this time. This is a story of a surprise which is by far the most significant to me this year.

A Pleasant Surprise

At this present moment my best friends are attached…to each other! Lola and Adora are 2 of the most loving cuddly emotional loving cuddly baby wabby smoochie woochie *blearch barf cough cough* couple I have ever known.

As much as I cringe every time the 2 of you display your affections before my eyes, only because I knew the two of you before you met each other and it’s simply weird, I must admit the fact that the both of you have something in each other which many singles pursue relentlessly for in so many different people yet come to no avail –

Love, COMMITMENT and Dedication.

Bravo.

However, both of you wouldn’t have met if Adora didn’t step in as the role of the 3rd person in the gang taking the place of an old friend whose memories with may not be much in quantity, yet still held close and dearly as those were indeed some of the best days I’ve had being in the group.

I’m talking about Hui Min.

Hui Min was the ex-guitarist of Slapshocked (My X-Japan tribute band) and also was our company for a few of the Saturday night outings during the early period of the band. What Hui Min lacked in musical commitment she more than made up for in appeal and enthusiasm. Truly a rock chick waiting to blossom.

She brought me to my 1st Wala2 experience which was unforgettable. (Shirlyn!)

Can never thank her more for the zest she brings along with her every time we meet up for a drink.

We stopped hanging out after she her span in Slapshocked came to an end.

So after half a year, one fine Saturday evening Lola calls,

Lola: “Dude..meet in town? I have a surprise.”

Fuzz: “Huh?... what is it?”

Lola: “Just come.”

We were so used to Adora being the girl among us that we forgot the whole Hui Min experience. I waited for the promised surprised for about 45 mins at the foyer of Taka till they called me from behind.

Lola: “eh handsome”

Fuzz: (turns and gawks in disbelief at the person standing next to him)

Hui Min: “AYYY!!!!!!!!”

Fuzz: “What the fucccckkkkk!”

Her voice evoked past memories and experiences in both Lola and I. The rest of the night we spent reminiscing old times over Burger king. Sure feels good to catch up on all the times we’ve lost.

Haha…Hui Min..how I wished we could hang out more like old times. Things have changed so much in 6 months. Nevertheless, it was a pleasant experience. We will meet again. Perhaps in gigs to come.

Love,

FUZZ

Tickled Me.

2007-12-10T07:34:00.000-08:00

These videos did!

And December is so bloody jammed packed with courses, administration of upcoming changes and so on that I barely have enough time to do anything.

NS. Overworked, Underpaid and EVER-USED.

Feel Like a 2 dollar whore.

Well at least I'm worth more than these people.

The giant Blubbersaures fell over wipes out an entire species of ants beneath her.

Laughs Out Loud.

THIS kid's got HIS dose of lady treatment a little too early.

I'll Be Back.

FUZZ

I Need Love

2007-11-27T07:29:00.000-08:00

What happens when cupid strikes and shoots you square in the ass?

The silver in a grey cloud shimmers with brilliance. A heightened sense of magnetism towards the person begins to surge as quickly as skepticism dwindles. All of a sudden you feel like your shoulders are being lifted, feet fluttering as sparks of affection twinkle around your eyes.

A cloak of delusion starts to wrap around your perceptions.
Her flaws are so disregarded it almost becomes invisible.
Her positive traits however, are projected almost matched to perfection.

This goes on for…oh I dunno….3 months?

THEN the poison in the arrow starts to kick in.

The infection from the sting in your ass weaves its way into your brain and you begin to detect an itch of irritancy. Dark clouds are stricken with bolts of thunderous mayhem. You fight so often the very sight of your partner infuriates you so much as to have you want to rip her face apart and feed it to the pigs. Then it rains. She cries. You’re rendered helpless with knees trembling while your heart yells out for mercy from god!

Every statement is misinterpreted.

Every action or gesture is misunderstood.

You can’t even take a piss without having her go “How could you prioritize your bladder before me? Can’t you just endure for 15 mins and help me pick out my shoes? We need to have an understanding! I need you to be present when I’m making big decisions! You never care about what I want!”

But still you’re much attached to each other. WHY?

What is it that drives us with enough endurance and motivation to tolerate or rather succumb to these undesirable aspects of being in a relationship?

With that mentioned I should ask the age old question:

WHAT IS LOVE???

As contradicting as it may sound I DO believe in love. As a matter a fact I have always adhered to my personal beliefs when it comes into question simply because I have divided it into 2 categories.

LOVE

My idea of love is simple.

Attraction, Acceptance and Gratefulness.

I’d be considered the biggest liar since Clinton if I were to tell you “I don’t go for looks”. I DO! A good 1^st impression usually springs from the person’s superficial appearance. As much as I wouldn’t mind, I don’t expect an Angelina Jolie look-alike to come waltzing through the door as I’m not exactly a Brad Pitt myself.

As long as she has a nice personality and doesn’t look like Ursula from “The Little Mermaid”- I’m cool with it. Minimal prerequisites that sparks attraction.

Acceptance and gratefulness are 2 conjunctive aspects which I believe defines the true meaning of love. She may have some negative traits and might not necessarily indulge in the same interests as you. But you learn to accept. And be grateful.

I strongly believe that being grateful is a key factor in love. One may be strong, competent and efficient enough to move on and live WITHOUT the partner as easily as they started yet CHOOSES to stay because one LOVES her for the person she is and is grateful to have that person in one’s life.

NOT because you can’t stop thinking about her!

NOT to harp on her to make oneself feel complete!

NOT because you cant live without her!

The sort of mentality above is an extreme after effect of being in a relationship for SO long, and being SO accustomed to each other that love subconsciously morphs itself into:

NEED

This is indeed a dire extreme of what love can turn into. When the person becomes a big part of your everyday routine and you feel an affinity so immense that if the person is taken away from your life, you feel a great loss. She becomes a necessity instead of a privilege. She becomes what you NEED instead of what you WANT. Then you have defeated the purpose of being in a relationship.

In conclusion, things are best done in moderation - Even the act of loving someone. One should never indulge in too much love until it turns to need. Then both parties will want to stay together for completely SELFISH reasons. Because you cant live without each other. Because living without her will leave you in a calamitous mess.

Then you didn’t really love each other in the 1^st place.

What you want may not always be what you need.

You will want to be LOVED.

Not NEEDED.

FUZZ

Primal GAY

2007-11-18T08:43:00.000-08:00

So much things to write about.

So little time to put things together.

Shackled to the ball and chain we all call WORK.

Got into so much trouble and endless debates with various female friends because of my last post.

Glad many of you liked it though.

Enjoyed all the different opinions I received.

I shall keep posting for you because I love you all.

In the meantime. I shall make up to my female friends I offended by showing you a vid of myself monkeying around on stage.

As much as you hate me,

Stay tuned for more rants.

FUZZ

People are evil

2007-11-07T09:45:00.000-08:00

-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I wasted says:

how was ur day?

Empress of Moldova says:

Could've been better.

Empress of Moldova says:

Anyways......Tell me.... An ideal birthday present. For the man.

-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I wasted says:

HEAD

Empress of Moldova says:

FUCK!

Empress of Moldova says:

I knew it.

Empress of Moldova says:

Disgusting.

Empress of Moldova says:

That's all you men want from us......

Empress of Moldova says:

HEAD

Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny..what's for dinner... HEAD

Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.. where you bringing me to? HEAD BITCH!

Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.... are we going for a movie? NOT UNTIL YOU HEAD ME OFF !

Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny...... Do you love me? I LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU GIVE ME A GD HEAD EH TONIGHT SEXY

Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.... Am I fat? NOT UNTIL I PUT MY HEAD IN YOU, YOU'RE NOT!

Empress of Moldova says:

Gee, what else?

Empress of Moldova says:

Pfft.

-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I

wasted says:

with a nice rose?

Empress of Moldova says:

FUZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reckon Adora was rather annoyed by my satire. Sigh. Girls are just so uptight sometimes.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if they were to loosen up a little....and by loosen up I mean the way they perceive things, not their legs.

With this in mind it led me thinking. I’ve notice something which is clearly evident, yet disputed by many with rhetorical alibis pointlessly defending what is as obvious as a hairy birthmark an inch in diameter on the side of a winking left eye:

Guys are assholes and girls are liars.

Yes we are and we know it. So it’s about time we came clean. And I am honored to bear the monumental responsibility to expound the truth. Let us begin with

The Assholes

Much to our sadness, the male gender has been struck with a bevy of assertions implying the ignorance and insensitivity in our nature of life. And I can’t possibly agree more to the assertions. It’s true. We ARE assholes.

However, it’s only because of the fact that it’s a primeval instinct which can only be completely wiped off if we either become gay, or die.

One of the main reasons why we are ascribed as assholes is because we prioritize sex.

As the active and productive party in reproduction it is only nature’s course to have us being more thrilled about sex. We make lewd comments every time a hot girl walks by, we have to talk about it at least 10 times a day, and in MOST cases, we’ll be the ones working our way to get it instead of the other way round. It’s astounding if you notice the extend some guys will go to just to get laid. Singing RnB tunes, buying flowers, taking her out for dinner, and LISTENING. Sleeping with girls is, in fact, considered an achievement!

So in this case, ladies, why not consider the more optimistic and amicable way of perceiving things by thinking of yourselves as “The Prize”? Appreciated, cherished, loved, and of immeasurable value.

Now tell me. Would an asshole succumb to such a caring behavior? Whatever it takes to win the prize- YES!

Another reason why we’re branded as an insensitive intolerant group of pigs is plain simple. EGO and SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Haven’t I mentioned the innate instinct that is sewn within our souls as men? The dominant species will naturally incline towards feeling superior. That doesn’t necessarily mean we are, we just feel like it. And in most cases the provider of a family is a male. So being raised in a household which gives such an idea will remain in us as a result of an upbringing.

That’s why we don’t need a girlfriend to tell us we look good or to say nice things to make us feel good about ourselves. We’re so full of it! And we share our gift by complimenting GIRLS. To make THEM feel good about themselves.

Because they simply need it.

Yes we’re assholes. But the world wouldn’t be straight if we weren’t.

The Liars

Gosh. Where do I start? I often ask that question when something gets to a point where there’s too much to say and everything I want to say bears similar magnitude. And what exactly about girl is it that gives me the impression that they are being false and pretentious?

EVERYTHING.

From the make up, the push up bras, the heels to their own clique of more pretentious and hypocritical beings they call their “girlfriends”. Your eyes don’t look that nice. Your lips aren’t their real colour and your boobs aren’t supposed to stick out as perky! You’re fooling everyone with your deceptive advertising. This works like a charm I must admit. I’ve fallen for a fair share of lies.

What about your friends? Half of whom you bitch and gossip about condemning their life’s decisions and relentlessly competing with to become more “it” than they are.

Oh such hypocrisy.

Oh such deceit.

When you say “it’s ok”, it’s not.

When you say “I miss you”, you don’t. You just enjoy our attention.

When you say “I don’t like these random guys calling me”, you do. You simply enjoy the fact that your HP beeps every five minutes because it gives you the sense of satisfaction knowing that you’re hot and wanted by many. Don’t give me that “I don’t like being popular” crap. You love it and you KNOW it.

Don’t get me wrong, just because their dolling themselves up to make them appear more attractive than they really are and saying sweet things to get me to believe what they say in order to avoid having me knowing the unbearable truth doesn’t make me HATE them, it makes me adore them more.

I love them just the way they are. Lie all you want. I’ll just shrug it off, pat you on the head and go “right, sure you love me”.

SO. What sort of conclusion do you expect to derive from all this? Well as cliche as it always sounds we should learn to appreciate each other regardless of our flaws. As long as what your doing fulfills the needs of both parties then I say go for it.

For this world is as selfish as it is.

I don't want a part in being pretentious.

Thats why I'm sailing alone for a looooooooong time.

FUZZ

Slapped

2007-11-07T04:04:00.000-08:00

Cheers to Ricky for putting this together!
Very heartfelt.

But why did we only choose to record at the last hour when my voice starts to sound like a dying chicken?!!

*blushes*

FUZZ

Drained

2007-11-06T06:37:00.000-08:00

So tired. Nevertheless, having the time of my life.

My month old band Rock Republic (formally known as Primal Gray) performed for the very 1st time at DXO. What was thought to be a flop miraculously turned into one of my best experiences ever! Albeit having the place being inundated with clueless 15-17 year olds, We still won some fans whom surprisingly appreciated 80s rock as much as we do. Will show you guys pictures once I manage to procure them from our ex-drummer whom we fired the minute after.

Met some old friends and MY how they have grown.

Pantat (Nicholas) and Scott of Excalibur (formally known as Velvet Rose) possessed only half their height, weight and skill about 3 years ago! I still remember the days we used to crash at max's chunking away to cliche guitar Newbie tunes like "smells like teen spirit" and "Master of puppets". Pantat could barely keep a beat and Scott was obscenely out of time, tune and pitch! Now they're playing Megadeth like its Blink 182. How quickly time flies.

Got offers from organizers and sound guys to play in upcoming events at different venues but personally, the band will have to improve a great deal before we progress to bigger stages.

Met a chick who looked cute under the dim UV light. Spotted and couldn't help to notice how she was singing along to "love is only a feeling", but made me cringe in disgust as her INCH LONG LEG HAIRS were evidently exposed the moment she walked out and we exchanged numbers.

Turns out she's a doorknob - Everyones had a turn.

She's been with every member from every band that has ever played for the tremendously growing gig organization -DEAFCON. Coincidentally she's also a member "co-organizing" committee of DEAFCON. If I had the impunity to sum the reason for the girls being there in 2 words, it would be:

Paperwork and Pussy. They must believe hairy girls are hyper sexed.

Yealch. No thanks, I like chickens without the feathers.

I don't like the competitive atmosphere in local gigs sometimes. Whatever happened to just hanging out playing rock and roll and loving it? Society has brainwashed us.

We always feel the need to compete.

Take that away and we'll be the richest of all people.

Statement of the week?

You know your getting old, when you and your MUCH younger sister start knowing the same people and having the same friends.

*Cough Cough Ahhh chooo!*

FUZZ

A Dream

2007-10-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

She has the apparel of many but the intellect of some

She has an abundance of glee and doesn’t mind that I’m dumb

Her joyous laughter brings exuberance as it spreads

She’s just as addictive as the song in my head

When sorrowed by ignorance and disputes fought

Through music she expresses her troubles and thoughts

As life’s tribulations at times leave me bare

Regardless of what state I’m in, I know that she cares

She showers with a bevy of opinions and questions

As she satires me by her mischief and her actions

A grateful person, contented with what’s given.

Yet I still feel hollow as this verse is written

Puzzled, I ask. Just what part did I miss?

That’s when I realized she doesn’t exist.

Good one God,

FUZZ

Tolerating Tolerance.

2007-10-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

By virtue of the title, I’m sure it wouldn’t take a genius to apprehend this as another one of my theoretical rants. I promise I won’t leave you feeling confused, resented and fatalistic like I always do. As much as it bears a shrill and dreary tone, it might just give you a hint of enlightenment.

And this week I discovered:

Tolerance + Consistency = Accomplishments.

Tolerance is virtuous moral trait that is existent in everyone regardless of much or little of it one may have. The more you endure throughout your journey in overcoming the obstacles placed before you, the greater the glory in surmounting the difficulties. However, there are a few things one will have to deal with in relations to being a patient and magnanimous individual. I shall name the ones that came to mind while sitting in my office tolerating the pounding of my boss’s iron fist.

Misconceptions

When one’s ability to tolerate is equated with being afraid, soft and yielding, the person is faced with a dilemma on weather to lash out unreasonably at every dispute just to attain a respectable status with his peers. We all know that being temperamental and “hot-headed” doesn’t do anything but create more problems. Then why are there still stupid, ignorant dicks in society blaming the patient ones as people who are not able to stand up for themselves?

Do you really think that’s why they’re avoiding confrontation?

Because of fear?

It infuriates me when many fail to see the real reason as to why a person bows out when in a dispute. It’s not necessarily because the person is scared. Some of them are simply smart enough to know what’s worth fighting for and what’s not. Walking away from a fight doesn’t make you any less a man. Yes, it is a contradiction when I say that as the very thought of it makes me angry too. But is it worth it to argue with stupid people? Will it make me any better than them by slaying them with my sword of retaliation?

Obviously not.

When the dispute isn’t productive and isn’t worth my time, I move on. Many can’t.

At What Point Will Tolerance Reward?

Like I always quote, everything is best when done in moderation. So how much must a person swallow before it actually comes to fruition? It all depends. One must possess the ability to decipher and apprehend a dispute while practicing the best course of action which sometimes, could mean confrontation. Though not instantly, the more you tolerate and when others start to notice your consistent character, you begin to earn their respect in time. And as we all know, when something is achieved through endless toil and patience. It is the most satisfying.

In conclusion, a person’s ability to swallow a burden and move on with his head up high makes him more of a man than a person who lashes out at every thing he is annoyed at without making a single rational attempt to appreciate a situation. Tolerating gives us ample time to think.

Anger always leaves us with a vast emptiness.

Time to tolerate the intolerable.

Sigh, The things you need to deal with to get what you want.

FUZZ

Irritance

2007-10-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

Stairways to uncertainty spirals up and down my mind,
Its like an itch I cannot find,
Gritting with disdain I watch as they plunder,
What I used to defend now only makes me wonder.

Trust dissipates
Concern irritates
Hope appears to be nothing but a fabricated lie

Amid the disastrous fog,
One still harps on chance,
A chance to attain tranquility
Erasing solitude from life's dance.

Stop and let me off right now.
I hate playing with cheaters.
Save the game for another
I'm not your fool.

Part Of My Deal

2007-10-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

Ok Siti, I didn't think you were serious when you agreed to our challenge but ok, since you keep your word, I've kept mine. Enjoy.

Temujanji Impianku

Ada berberapa perbimbangan yang bersarang di hati saya apabila ingin keluar untuk sesebuah temujanji. Meskipun saya ini seseorang yang memperolehi bakat yang menyinar sewaktu menjalinkan persahabatan bersama orang baru, masih terdapat beberapa persoalan yang bermain dihati saya.

Adakah dia seseorang yang mempunyai personality yang saya sukai?

Dapatkah kita berinteraksi diatas frekuensi yang sama?

Salah satu sebab saya akan sering mengadakan temujanji bersama seseorang rakan wanita adalah kerana saya gemar meluangkan waktu untuk berinteraksi dan mendengar hal seharian yang terjadi dalam hidupnya beserta ingin mengetahui sudut pandangannya dalam beberapa topik yang sering saya bawa ketengah untuk berbincang seperti perhubungan intimasi, hal perihal keluarga dan sebagainya.

Dengan itu, bagaimanakah seharusnya sesebuah temujanji yang ideal itu diadakan? Apa yang berenang di ufuk impianku adalah perangkaian temujanji yang jikalau menjadi nyata, akan susah untuk dilupai.

Pada awal pertemuan hari tersebut, si dia akan dapat menikmati layanan keistimewaan dengan dijemput dan disambut dengan mesra.

Sewaktu di dalam kereta, (DREAM date per!) kami akan berinteraksi dengan berjenaka dan bergurau sakan. Sambil itu, saya akan mengambil waktu tersebut untuk mengenalinya dengan lebih mendalam.

Apabila keretaku masuk ke dalam gerabak nakhoda STAR CRUISE yang sudah ku tempah tiket dua minggu sebelumnya, kami akan terus naik ke bahagian atas kapal tersebut dan menikmati udara nyaman.

Sesudah siap bersantapan, kami akan menikmati segala aktiviti yang terdapat di cruise tersebut. Hari itu akan dipenuhi dan dihiasi dengan tertawaan dan keriangan berada disamping satu sama lain.

Sewaktu menjelang senja, kapalnya sudahpun berhenti di tengah lautan dimana kami akan bermalam menikmati bintang sambil bercumbuan di bawah sinar lampu bulan purnama. Malam yang indah menjadi sejarah.

Keesokkan harinya, akan ku hantar si dia kembali ke rumahnya dan mengucapkan terima kasih. “bile bile kita pergi lagi ok? I had fun”. *smooooch* POP! Letupan bibir sewaktu ku cium pipiya dengan kuat. Lalu ku ucapkan “jumpa lagi”.

Mungkin terlalu tinggi impianku, mungkin terlalu liar fantasiku. Walaubagaimanapun, ku tetap gembira dengan apa yang ada dan setiap pertemuan walau tidak sehebat ini akan ku cuba untuk memberi yang seindah yang dalam sekilas dapat memberi senyuman yang nyaman dilihat.

There you go you devil spawned satan worshipping child. I need some air.

Hypertension-ed,

FUZZ

It's That Time Again

2007-10-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

I have noticed a few things that appear as cliché when it comes to Hari Raya. Things that I cringe over yet can’t do without due to the magnitude of its entertainment. Without it, I have nothing to joke about at this time of the year. And I wouldn’t be writing this entry.

Just in case you want to know how my facial expression is whenever these typical things inevitably start to surface, here.

Like an asshole should.

Alright lets get to it shall we?

Death
If its one thing the religion of Islam stands for, its humility. One needs to learn to be humble and be grateful even when being given the simplest things. One of the methods of moderating a person’s ego so as to prevent the person from turning into an arrogant prick is to inflict FEAR. And what better way to do it then to tell them that people are dying as we are enjoying the celebrations. Because of that,

Every telemovie must have at least ONE family member who dies.

At least 70% of the songs played over the radio must accentuate the already melancholic air by singing about celebrating Hari Raya alone.

There must be at least 10 interviews with the less fortunate who have lost their loved ones just days before the celebrations intended to reach out to the altruistic population of the Muslim community.

Is this bad? No! It’s good to be aware and to think of the less fortunate so as to have us appreciate more of what we have in life especially during the celebrations.

Is it overdone? YES! I feel sadder by the minute as I grieve along with these people almost forgetting that I’m suppose to be having the time of my life. How am I suppose to enjoy myself when you’re telling me there’s a little boy crying over his father’s dead body while I’m wolfing down my Rendang?

Meeting my weird cousins

Isn’t it puzzling how some people you knew as a child, grow up and turn out to be complete strangers? Especially when they don’t grow up the way you expected them to.

The filial one becomes the rebel.

The cute and adorable little girl turns out to be a hunchback pimply slut.

The geeky bespectacled boy grows up to be a fair and charming dude.

The annoying noisy afro kid becomes an even more annoying and perverted adolescent

Funny how people change isn’t it? And I don’t even talk to any of them anymore. When around 10 years ago we were playing catching in CCs together after which I’ll get everyone in trouble for cooking up some random prank on one of my aunties. Well, at least they get to surprise me with their different forms of appearances every year.

However, relatively, I may seem like a weirdo in their point of view as well.

Competitive Comparison

Many parents are guilty of this. (Mine are) You know what I’m talking about. When parents begin their ballistic spewing, bragging about their children to our uncles and aunties while munching down cookies and kuih leaving us in the most awkward predicament ever imagined. Especially if you didn’t go to “that certain tertiary institution” or get “that diploma” or worse still of you’re in your late 20s and have no plans of settling down, you will be subjected to a barrage of defamation and derogatory leaving you helpless as they humiliate you mercilessly.

Undeniably, as much as I hate to admit it, it IS one of the driving forces that pushes me towards getting a job that’s simple, recognized and stable- To shut them up and do less explaining.

That’s about all I can think of at the moment. Clichés exist in everything we do and I suppose it’s a matter of perception that determines ones reaction.

Had a little debate with a friend of mine over the many perceptions of what LOVE truly is. I’m not gonna write about it its too Cliché. *smiles*

My farts smell like rotten rendang.

The one who surprisingly fasted for 30 days straight,

FUZZ

Complication

2007-10-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

In each upheaval stands a chance to fall
In each fall stands a chance to break it
For every pursuit we make, we give our all,
There whispers a silent lie telling you
“Your not gonna make it”

A lie with any other name will sound as sweet,
A tale showering with glee till it makes me weep,
When revelations appear, I burst into gear,
Screaming a voiceless cry, trying hard to shed a tear.

Why so emo?
Why so sad?
C’mon chill its not that bad.

If it drives me in too deep,
I drift away to sleep.
If it leads me to a trap,
I jump it in a snap.

Much to my disbelief,
Sincerity is obsolete.
Grab what I can,
Have the world in my hand.

For this life is selfish as it is.

7 Stages Of An Ugly Relationship

2007-10-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

The human mind serves us with many things that separates and defines us. Its unique form gives us personality, perception and aptitude in scuffling with the vagaries of life which at times, transcends our abilities. However, there is always a greater mind than yours. Just like there is always a person with a greater and more interesting personality.

A personality that is appealing and attractive.

Personality is simply my biggest requirement of traits when in search for a good companion or girlfriend. A good personality accompanied by an amicable character are the 2 conjunctive traits which turn me on.

So, as the human mind determines the nature, it is the natural, intrinsic allure which brings us closer to the people we are attracted to until you finally come to a stop. That’s when you’ve found someone. That’s when you’re in a relationship.

Here I shall expound my theory of the typical awry relationship stages we go through which I personally believe are timelessly relevant. Ok got a little over confident there. But It came to me when I was about to doze off in the bus on the way to work with “Art Of Life” blasting in my ear. Here we go.

This is the 1st stage as we know it. In my personal belief I strongly stand by the fact that a girl who looks good, and presents herself well will be showered with compliments and pardoned more often whenever she makes trivial mistakes. This world is cruel. No one even consider substance at the 1st impression as by nature we are perceived through superficial appearance before anything else. So, when you see that CUTE girl from across the room, you’re attracted, your Infatuated.

Then you start to look for substance in the person, to see if the person’s traits are compatible with yours. When you finally engage in a conversation, you find that you grow to like this person by the minute. You like her outgoing character, you like it when she teases, you love it when she cracks witty jokes, ultimately, you develop an Affinity.

Now that you’ve confirmed your stand on liking her, you only seem to find more things that attract you till it sends a wave of excitement through your mind. And considering the fact that you haven’t known her as well through time, you appreciate the things you see as you go along and as I mentioned earlier, superficiality always comes as the 1st strike! You enjoy being with her. Simply because of the fact that she turns you on every time. Don’t be alarmed at the “tent” you are pitching. You are simply In Lust.

You proceed by spending more time with her. You are hit with a kaleidoscope of emotions. Every time you meet her you have butterflies in your stomach. It now doesn’t matter if she develops pimples or dresses slovenly. You like her the way she is. You now don’t have a hint of an idea on why you feel so deeply for her. You simply do. You just want to satisfy your feeling of withdrawal when she is away by meeting her. Oh boy….your In Love *applause*

Your efforts were efficacious in having her at the palm of your hand. Or so you thought. She starts to change her mind like most women. She starts telling you things like “baby I want some time alone to clear things up in my head” She gives you excuses that whichever way it sounds, will seem most incongruous and outrageous to you. Though you allow her a little space for tranquility through solitude, you don’t feel right. You feel uneasy pacing across the room sweating copiously. At this point, you become In Need.

At this point, things begin to veer into a dire calamity. Anger and frustration begins to surge and you are now infuriated by her actions and the fact that she didn’t even take you feelings into consideration. After all the things you’ve done? After all the love you’ve given? After all the time, commitment and dedication you are under the impression that she should feel Indebt to you.

And finally, the weeks of torment you spend by your bedside waiting for the phone to ring comes to an end when she calls you! But what she told you on the phone sends your heart into palpitations. You can’t breathe. She wants to end it. Your simply too crazy for her to handle. Your petulant and temperamental nature sends chills down her spine. She wants you to do every girl in town a favour and marry a minah Indonesia. Your body feels sapped of energy. You can’t stop thinking about her. You want her but she’s gone away. You’ve ruined your chance. Now you sit in the corner of the room rocking to and fro singing “ring around the rosey”. You have officially gone INSANE!

Well isn’t love a beautiful thing? Again I remind you not to judge but to appreciate the allegorical aspect of my theories. I am not a know it all. I just call them how I see them. This is based on what I’ve seen. It sucks when it happens to you.

But don’t you just love the entertainment you get from watching others go through it together with you? ;-)

The best things in life are only enjoyable when shared.

Simplicity

2007-09-29T22:40:00.000-07:00

The night strikes with batteries of aggression,
Senses crumble into the depths of doom
Sapped virility unable to speak
Mind so alive yet my body feels weak

I feel the end creeping, closer than the hands of time
With hollow hopes, like a dance to mime
Will my name remain the same?
Will I drown in rival’s rain?

She has the remedy,
She has the cure
She has

A Simple Smile, Dissipates my gloom and turns it into trust
A Simple Tone, Qualms the rage and crumbles it to dust
A Simple Need, Gives me the sense and will to fulfill
A Simple Note, assures me safety before dawn stings my eyes.

It is the sweet, simple things in life which are the real ones after all.

Keepin' It Real

2007-09-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

Behold, my latest theory – A woman’s world is fabricated and abstract. A man’s world is real.

Let me begin.

I am not the sort of person who would normally generalize. However, I DO state my claims based on personal statistics judging by how much experience I have with the matter, and the number of times I notice it. So here are my views.

Women love fairy tales.

It’s true! Classic tales such as Cinderella and Snow White are the most responsible for giving women the allure and desires into being given special treatment by men to feel good about themselves. So, even when she is living an average lifestyle, a woman would (consciously or sub-consciously) arrange her life in a way which suits the structure of her desired fairytale. Boyfriend becomes prince charming, house becomes the castle, thoughts of love, affection and tiers of emotion shuffle through a woman’s mind and beams out through her view as her perception of life. Slowly she weaves her life into form.

That’s how they keep themselves, happy, contented and self sufficient - By being in a fairytale. So, it is served as our righteous duties as men to keep them happy by being a part of their fairytale, and playing the role. I’m not saying women are delusional, they just love to think of life in that sense.

HOWEVER it WILL be a problem if men refuse to adapt and vehemently stand by their customary nature:

Being Realists

Guys indulge in the idea that nothing is more important that what is practical and practical only. To us, motivation might be just a buffer before reality slaps us in the face. We’re simple people with simple needs so fabricated stories of castles and kings don’t have much allure for us. (unless of course your gay, then you’d wanna be a princess)

But men should take into consideration serving reality to a woman might bear the possibility of shattering her completely, or having her leave you for a man who cares and wants to take the time to play the role. So do the right thing. Life isn’t all about food, soccer, music and beer. You need to proceed into great lengths to acquire what you need the most. Do yourself a favour and cook up something sweet for her.

It’ll keep you from killing people. You know what I’m talking about.

So hope I did a community service today by posting this. For those of you who wish to bombard me with comments like “that’s so ignorant and shallow” should consider putting my theories into practice and having the irony of it slowly materialize before them. I just state what I see.

The rest if up to you to figure out.

I’ve met someone. But yet to see if she’s genuine enough as a person. If she truly is, and if both our hands clap, I wouldn’t mind playing a role in her fairytale.

Impending Love,

FUZZ

Just A Little Patience...

2007-09-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

Ok I’m in one of those preachy moods again folks. Get ready for a barrage of sprung crap.

Since the beginning of time, mankind has scuffled with the vast ironic tragedies and persistent obstacles that are stubbornly attached to the long dance we call life.

The approach to handling these problems vary from a scale of subtle and gentle to insistence and violence. Perhaps it stems from the remnants of a primeval age, when men used to drag the women they fancied home by their hair after knocking them unconscious with a Flintstone bat.

The objective is Success.

The questions are “How much patience does one have? How long can one wait for the day he finally meets his goal?”

I would venture to say that patience, is mandatory (at least for me) just for the fact that I use it for the benefit of my self-interest. And I have 3 reasons why.

1) One who acts impulsively always subjected to ridicule at the end.

2) Hot heads and cold hearts never solved anything

3) Best things come to those who wait

It makes you look stupid

Need I say more? You tell your supervisor the office can’t be accessed. You throw a tantrum thinking that it was your colleagues who hid those documents you needed to hand in by a necking deadline and you throw the monitor against the wall because your sick of your plight. Turns out you tapped the access point with your EZ-Link instead of your pass. And you forgot the papers were in the other drawer. You’re broke, jobless, in debt for the broken monitor and the papers were rejected because you simple write nonsense when you’re mad. You’re laughed at and you become the lunch topic. None of your colleagues call you in fear of humiliation for being associated with you.

Impatience and petulance has portrayed nothing but stupidity and immaturity in the above “scenario”. If you waited a while longer to apprehend the situation, you wouldn’t have looked as ridiculous.

Nothing can be resolved

All issues can’t work to your favour once you’re impatient. Girls look upon guys who are impatient as pricks and feel a sense of imminent danger when in their vicinity. If you’ve only gotten to know her name and your already looking for avenues to access her shorts than you know you’re a man who can’t wait. And usually those who don’t wait - don’t get any.

If you don’t want to end up sitting on the toilet seat waxing your carrot, wait a little longer. You’ll be surprised at your level of progress when you choose to take things with her one step at a time.

Its Rewards

Many things that you actually thought you could solve by throwing a tantrum - which only worked against you. The longer one perseveres, in dealing with a big difficulty, the greater the glory one will find in surmounting it.

Priceless

As a conclusion, I certainly hope many shall take my social message into practice however; those who DO wait are NOT to wait in complacence but are to remain sweating their efforts into making their lives more fruitful. Patience is simply another key element into success along with other achievements. You need it to learn, you need it to socialize, its just something that will earn you more respect when you have it (patience) in considerable amounts.

Calm and relaxed - FUZZ

Turning 21

2007-09-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

Woke up to the sound of my incessant E65. A gift from my loud, petulant, forever over-reacting yet soft hearted mother. Its my birthday and I have work in the day! Celebrations would start in the evening so I had to keep myself busy with something.

Heartfelt flattery surged upon me and only increased with every second as my handphone beeped with each sms wishing me bliss throughout the day accompanied by a perpetual reminder of my coming of age. Never realized THAT many people existed in my circle of friends!

Ok enough pussyfying. Conducting weapon training wasn't much of a chore as it usually is. However I detected hints of aversion and repugnance judging by the gloom and melancholic air the students projected through their facial expressions.

Boredom slowly turned to perplexity. I began to question.

Fuzz: "Kids what do you like about being in npcc?"

Tomboy: "nothing. we cant quit cuz our teacher threatened to suspend us if we do"

Upon hearing the pitiful plight of these poor kids. I transformed and morphed into "Hyper motivator mode"

It was time to give word of encouragement and rekindle the dint of passion of whats left of these kids and by the grace of my charm (grins), I succeeded! Kids left with smiles and thank yous.

Next agenda. Chilli Crab with Ricky, Lola and Adora!

If its one element of irony, out of the many I have realized throughout my life, I would mention would be the fact that I'm always late to arrive, but still the 1st! I arrived and approached the auntie who looked like hide(x japan) past his youth prime selling chilli crab at age 60.

Granny hide: "U Ah-black(lola)'s friend ah?"

Fuzz: *stifles laughter* "Yeah..."

If there were 3 more names that Lola would go by, we'd need a directory. So I waited and soon after they arrived. Food tastes better everytime I go there, and soon after we headed for what I was looking forward to the whole day!

JAMMING.

Stepped into the studio my veins throbbed with excitement and exhilaration as I closely stifle my carnal hunger to scream my lungs out singing Art Of Life and X! Don't wanna spontaneously combust on my birthday.

As we jammed to the last 10 minutes I was intoxicated with the music and we were at our last song. When suddenly after they struck the last chord of "X", the band stalled while sustaining a note, Lola whispered something in everyone's ear except me and to my surprise, the band played Happy Birthday to me X Japan style!

I was awestruck. There are no words that can describe how I felt. It was the best thing on earth.

Walked out of the studio smiling. Got back and prayed that everyday could be as happening as it was. No matter what happens I'll never forget this.

Thank you.

Big Boy Fuzz

Burning!

2007-09-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

I have always been advised to stifle my frustration in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts and undesirable outcomes. I admit I am rather temperamental and sensitive when it comes to MANY things. There’s nothing like a little devil worshiping music and hammering at random things around me to quell my rage.

Things I’ve been pondering on these past few days:

Why is kindness and benevolence always mistaken as a weakness and a sign of vulnerability?
Why does it still hurt so much whenever SHE comes into the scene of my everyday activities?

Lets start with the latter. WHY am I still affected whenever SHE comes into the picture? Every time her name is uttered, each moment I talk to her online, on the phone or in person. It sends my heart into palpitations and my breath into shallow gasps.

WHY? Do I want to be affected by it? NO

Do I WANT to have anything to do with her anymore? NO

Do I WANT to forget her and return to becoming my wild, ambitious self with no qualms and little conscience? HELL FUCKING YES!

But the sound of her voice renders me helpless and the sparkle in her eyes tickles me sick. It used to be worse folks, trust me. I was an inch close to a futile obsession. Tomorrow SHE is going to be present at the place where I shall be on duty. It rubs acid into my wounds at every glance. HOWEVER, I will persevere.

Failure is not a permanent state. I shall NOT allow this to forge ahead and I am determined and extremely certain that I WILL one day get over SHE and meet someone better. For now, I make attempts to reinvigorate my emotional state.

One day at a time.

Next.

People mistake nice for SOFT! I am riled and deeply appalled by the very idea! I have been experiencing this for decades ever since school to work to NS even up until NOW I have people taking me for granted. And I suppose that’s what drives me to be such a temperamental impulsive raging prick. My fear of being oppressed and my disgust towards those who compete relentlessly just to prove a selfish and egotistical point – I am better than you!!

So I have come to a conclusion that only those who confront their disputes gain respect from society. Regardless of it being through brute force or intellectual inveigling as long as you make your stand and not give way to others – you become a well respected person.

I used to give in and I was stepped on. Now I’m slowly becoming what I used to hate. But I need it to survive in this rat race. It’s a vicious cycle.

Its Life.

Dave Chappelle’s view on different challenges between genders :

A woman’s greatest challenge in life is material. A man’s greatest challenge in life is WOMEN.

7 BEST Antidotes For Procrastination

2007-09-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

Procrastination. Some choose it as a way of living while others are simply too lazy to get off their bowling ball behind. It's similar to a lethal venom that is injected into your blood stream to slowly impair the limbs crippling the body altogether. Like how I am supposed to wait till tomorrow to post this! It would have never happened and I would have lost all the inspiration and crap. So how do we refrain from indulging into this horrible habit that will leave you with so much to do on Mondays? Which will eventually be next Monday's work till it all piles up like booty in a rap video?

7 BEST Antidotes For Procrastination

7.Poverty

If your cardboard roof, dishtowel blankets and worm-infested beard is a result of your laziness and bull-headed ways. You don't need drunk teenagers to beat you up at midnight just to tell you to wake the phuk up and earn a living! You deserve a bullet in the rectum if you still insist on waiting for Monday to buy a copy of classified.

6. Inspiration

Nothing says progress better than weaving into a fabric of your inspirational being. Except BEING the inspiration of course. But it is, nevertheless, A stepping platform into attaining your goals. When you have people you look up to and people who move you effortlessly, you will feel the urge to be on par or maybe better than your idols just to prove to your big fat ego that you can do it too. Can never just appreciate it from afar can we? Good!

5.Conscience

If brutal, sadistic, vile and inhumane mass murderer Charles Manson has it - you should have it! But what I mean here is conscience and awareness towards your responsibilities. It will automatically evoke fear of being a pathetic excuse for a child, or the boyfriend who always "forgets his wallet". Its humiliating and if you are human at all you will apprehend and realize that its time for you to get off that couch and put down that beer.

4.Desire

Nothing will ever drive you more to work than knowing that you'll get what you want at the end of the day. Pick something that you would simply love to have, dream of it then start finding ways of attaining it. These things are preferably material as it typically evoked the sense of need in us. That will keep you busy and deter you from logging on to "educational" sections of the internet and waxing your carrot.

3.Compulsion

If the above still doesn't work for you. Then your probably an ignoranus who needs a foot up your ass to start working. Put yourself in a life and death situation where working and progress is the ONLY means of survival. Take huge loans. Buy properties and pay for them in installments. That way you'll HAVE to work. Or you'll end up at number 7.

2.Inferior Complex/Peer Pressure

Why do I combine these 2? Most of us are greatly affected by how many perceive us to be and how everyone thinks of us. But who in that group of judgmental hogs affects you more than anyone else? Your friends. Watching your friends succeed in the corporate world and pass you while you are still nailed to the grounds of an industrial company fixing batteries on faulty Duracell bunnies should get you thinking. At least I hope it doesn't stray and leads towards killing, robbing followed by raping his sister after injecting her with heroin. Hahaha

1. Failure

Well by now you should all have heard the typical quote - "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail"
Failure is the BEST antidote for procrastination. It combines all 6 of the above mentioned yet having an effect almost 10 times its magnitude! Fail and you'll know you haven't been working hard enough. So if you fail, remember it makes you wiser. And gives your friends different things to laugh at you about.

Thats how I see it.

Anchored?

2007-09-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

Many factors in life never fail to strike and leave me with incessant trails of bewilderment. I toil away with my unavailing attempts to understand and fathom the reasons as to why and how many things are structured the way they are regardless of them being discriminatory or unprincipled.

What am I talking about? Below is :

1.What I think is the fundamental theory of success : Play to win. Mercy is for the weak

2.What I feel is the central structure of a winner : Being born with the natural skills and capabilities.

3.What I know about the transition phases of success in layman's term : Climb - Suffer - Enjoy.

And how do I find what I've mentioned above as unfair?

Play To Win
As much as I dread to admit it, life is somehow a competition of epic proportions. Winning is rewarding and you'll be more happy to learn from winning than losing! Things said like "it doesn't matter" and "its a learning experience" is simply a fraudulent attempt to deter you from the ugly truth - You lost because your weak. So you strive at all costs regardless of it being harmful to others. You shouldn't care. You should be the dominant and adamant. Show no mercy. You must WIN or don't play.

Born Winners
What exactly am I suggesting here? That only people with an innate ability can strive and muster in their endeavors? Well what I mean is the strength of ones learning capability. A born winner is a person who is able to learn and administer his duties adequately. And with his ability he eclipses others as he will most probably learn that sucking up to the boss gets him promoted! Its not about how much effort you put in. Its how much effort you make VISIBLE!!

Climb-Suffer-Enjoy
Has practically existed as my principle of attaining genuine satisfactory success. If it wasn't painfully difficult, then you did it wrong! Success can only be enjoyed when you know that you felt something extremely awful before. Much like how you cry after a break up, its because you felt something beautiful prior to it. Life's a biyotch aint it?

The point I'm trying to get across is. There comes a time in life when whichever turn you take seems wrong. Especially when your competing. Humans have been accustomed to the notion saying if one doesn't compete, one is useless and complacent. Being contented and satiated is conveniently branded as LAZY.

However, when you do compete you somehow require to succumb to the above mentioned. So what must we do?

Don't ask me I'm still confused....

Art Of Life

2007-09-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yoshiki is a God. I used to think he was a genius. But his adrenaline driving and emotional caressing compositions cum his superb marketing skills made me infer that he must be a person who possesses capabilities beyond comprehension. Thus, making him a superior being. Haha I'm just fooling around. But he's awesome!

So today we proceeded with our 2nd attempt at our latest project - one of Yoshiki's longest most challenging compositions - Art Of Life.

How does the song go?
The structure of the song has many of Yoshiki's typical trademark beats and melodies. Just dragged a little longer for listening satisfaction! The vagaries of moods in the song range from solemn to aggression. Yoshiki hasn't written a single upbeat jovial song that I know of. However, like any other X song, this number will captivate with its celestial structure and mind blowing interludes!

How long exactly is the song?
30 mins. Enough said.

When are you guys performing it?
On the next upcoming gig! Dates aren't confirmed yet but now that we have all come to our senses and realized our passion and undivided dedication towards perfecting Yoshiki's music, I reckon it should be by this year.

It still needs perfecting and my singing voice more than ever requires polishing. I've stopped smoking altogether and am looking forward to recovering with a more powerful, astounding vocal quality.

Life is good.
When there's Rock n Roll.

The "Dahlia" Sprint

2007-09-03T07:36:00.001-07:00

Alright, so you probably will rave in bewilderment once you read this post and realize that it has absolutely no relevance to the topic at all. Therefore I shall caution you beforehand of the fact that it is my insistent habit to do so. I love puzzling people. But not today.

So what exactly is The "Dahlia" Sprint?

If you have procured enough information about me then you would probably stumble upon the tiny fact that I am a HUGE X JAPAN FAN! And one of the habits that I have adapted recently is to equate every experience and surrounding with something that has to do with X.

For example, Time taken to walk from home to MRT station = 11min (Rose Of Pain)
Person who has a huge jaw = Toshi
Person who is petty and emotional = Yoshiki

Also used as an expression eg "why are you so Yoshiki today?" "What are you Yoshiki-ing about?"

OK I got a little carried away! But you get the picture. So I am still toiling over my agendas to gain strength muscle gain and endurance through exercise and one of the methods I am currently practicing is the typical 'sprint- jog -sprint- jog' method of working on cardio. So I officially label it as The "Dahlia" Sprints as equating to how Toshi dashes across the stage.

Ok sounds like I have not much of a life. But this is just to officiate this blog. Forgive the incoherent rambling.

Currently Skinny,
FUZZ

In case you haven't seen them in action.