A Dream

She has the apparel of many but the intellect of some

She has an abundance of glee and doesn’t mind that I’m dumb

Her joyous laughter brings exuberance as it spreads

She’s just as addictive as the song in my head

When sorrowed by ignorance and disputes fought

Through music she expresses her troubles and thoughts

As life’s tribulations at times leave me bare

Regardless of what state I’m in, I know that she cares

She showers with a bevy of opinions and questions

As she satires me by her mischief and her actions

A grateful person, contented with what’s given.

Yet I still feel hollow as this verse is written

Puzzled, I ask. Just what part did I miss?

That’s when I realized she doesn’t exist.






Good one God,

FUZZ

Tolerating Tolerance.

By virtue of the title, I’m sure it wouldn’t take a genius to apprehend this as another one of my theoretical rants. I promise I won’t leave you feeling confused, resented and fatalistic like I always do. As much as it bears a shrill and dreary tone, it might just give you a hint of enlightenment.

And this week I discovered:

Tolerance + Consistency = Accomplishments.

Tolerance is virtuous moral trait that is existent in everyone regardless of much or little of it one may have. The more you endure throughout your journey in overcoming the obstacles placed before you, the greater the glory in surmounting the difficulties. However, there are a few things one will have to deal with in relations to being a patient and magnanimous individual. I shall name the ones that came to mind while sitting in my office tolerating the pounding of my boss’s iron fist.

Misconceptions

When one’s ability to tolerate is equated with being afraid, soft and yielding, the person is faced with a dilemma on weather to lash out unreasonably at every dispute just to attain a respectable status with his peers. We all know that being temperamental and “hot-headed” doesn’t do anything but create more problems. Then why are there still stupid, ignorant dicks in society blaming the patient ones as people who are not able to stand up for themselves?

Do you really think that’s why they’re avoiding confrontation?

Because of fear?

It infuriates me when many fail to see the real reason as to why a person bows out when in a dispute. It’s not necessarily because the person is scared. Some of them are simply smart enough to know what’s worth fighting for and what’s not. Walking away from a fight doesn’t make you any less a man. Yes, it is a contradiction when I say that as the very thought of it makes me angry too. But is it worth it to argue with stupid people? Will it make me any better than them by slaying them with my sword of retaliation?

Obviously not.

When the dispute isn’t productive and isn’t worth my time, I move on. Many can’t.

At What Point Will Tolerance Reward?

Like I always quote, everything is best when done in moderation. So how much must a person swallow before it actually comes to fruition? It all depends. One must possess the ability to decipher and apprehend a dispute while practicing the best course of action which sometimes, could mean confrontation. Though not instantly, the more you tolerate and when others start to notice your consistent character, you begin to earn their respect in time. And as we all know, when something is achieved through endless toil and patience. It is the most satisfying.



In conclusion, a person’s ability to swallow a burden and move on with his head up high makes him more of a man than a person who lashes out at every thing he is annoyed at without making a single rational attempt to appreciate a situation. Tolerating gives us ample time to think.

Anger always leaves us with a vast emptiness.

Time to tolerate the intolerable.

Sigh, The things you need to deal with to get what you want.


FUZZ

Irritance

Stairways to uncertainty spirals up and down my mind,
Its like an itch I cannot find,
Gritting with disdain I watch as they plunder,
What I used to defend now only makes me wonder.

Trust dissipates
Concern irritates
Hope appears to be nothing but a fabricated lie

Amid the disastrous fog,
One still harps on chance,
A chance to attain tranquility
Erasing solitude from life's dance.

Stop and let me off right now.
I hate playing with cheaters.
Save the game for another
I'm not your fool.

Part Of My Deal

Ok Siti, I didn't think you were serious when you agreed to our challenge but ok, since you keep your word, I've kept mine. Enjoy.

Temujanji Impianku

Ada berberapa perbimbangan yang bersarang di hati saya apabila ingin keluar untuk sesebuah temujanji. Meskipun saya ini seseorang yang memperolehi bakat yang menyinar sewaktu menjalinkan persahabatan bersama orang baru, masih terdapat beberapa persoalan yang bermain dihati saya.

Adakah dia seseorang yang mempunyai personality yang saya sukai?

Dapatkah kita berinteraksi diatas frekuensi yang sama?

Salah satu sebab saya akan sering mengadakan temujanji bersama seseorang rakan wanita adalah kerana saya gemar meluangkan waktu untuk berinteraksi dan mendengar hal seharian yang terjadi dalam hidupnya beserta ingin mengetahui sudut pandangannya dalam beberapa topik yang sering saya bawa ketengah untuk berbincang seperti perhubungan intimasi, hal perihal keluarga dan sebagainya.

Dengan itu, bagaimanakah seharusnya sesebuah temujanji yang ideal itu diadakan? Apa yang berenang di ufuk impianku adalah perangkaian temujanji yang jikalau menjadi nyata, akan susah untuk dilupai.

Pada awal pertemuan hari tersebut, si dia akan dapat menikmati layanan keistimewaan dengan dijemput dan disambut dengan mesra.

Sewaktu di dalam kereta, (DREAM date per!) kami akan berinteraksi dengan berjenaka dan bergurau sakan. Sambil itu, saya akan mengambil waktu tersebut untuk mengenalinya dengan lebih mendalam.

Apabila keretaku masuk ke dalam gerabak nakhoda STAR CRUISE yang sudah ku tempah tiket dua minggu sebelumnya, kami akan terus naik ke bahagian atas kapal tersebut dan menikmati udara nyaman.

Sesudah siap bersantapan, kami akan menikmati segala aktiviti yang terdapat di cruise tersebut. Hari itu akan dipenuhi dan dihiasi dengan tertawaan dan keriangan berada disamping satu sama lain.

Sewaktu menjelang senja, kapalnya sudahpun berhenti di tengah lautan dimana kami akan bermalam menikmati bintang sambil bercumbuan di bawah sinar lampu bulan purnama. Malam yang indah menjadi sejarah.

Keesokkan harinya, akan ku hantar si dia kembali ke rumahnya dan mengucapkan terima kasih. “bile bile kita pergi lagi ok? I had fun”. *smooooch* POP! Letupan bibir sewaktu ku cium pipiya dengan kuat. Lalu ku ucapkan “jumpa lagi”.

Mungkin terlalu tinggi impianku, mungkin terlalu liar fantasiku. Walaubagaimanapun, ku tetap gembira dengan apa yang ada dan setiap pertemuan walau tidak sehebat ini akan ku cuba untuk memberi yang seindah yang dalam sekilas dapat memberi senyuman yang nyaman dilihat.

There you go you devil spawned satan worshipping child. I need some air.

Hypertension-ed,

FUZZ

It's That Time Again

I have noticed a few things that appear as cliché when it comes to Hari Raya. Things that I cringe over yet can’t do without due to the magnitude of its entertainment. Without it, I have nothing to joke about at this time of the year. And I wouldn’t be writing this entry.

Just in case you want to know how my facial expression is whenever these typical things inevitably start to surface, here.

Like an asshole should.

Alright lets get to it shall we?

Death
If its one thing the religion of Islam stands for, its humility. One needs to learn to be humble and be grateful even when being given the simplest things. One of the methods of moderating a person’s ego so as to prevent the person from turning into an arrogant prick is to inflict FEAR. And what better way to do it then to tell them that people are dying as we are enjoying the celebrations. Because of that,

Every telemovie must have at least ONE family member who dies.

At least 70% of the songs played over the radio must accentuate the already melancholic air by singing about celebrating Hari Raya alone.

There must be at least 10 interviews with the less fortunate who have lost their loved ones just days before the celebrations intended to reach out to the altruistic population of the Muslim community.

Is this bad? No! It’s good to be aware and to think of the less fortunate so as to have us appreciate more of what we have in life especially during the celebrations.

Is it overdone? YES! I feel sadder by the minute as I grieve along with these people almost forgetting that I’m suppose to be having the time of my life. How am I suppose to enjoy myself when you’re telling me there’s a little boy crying over his father’s dead body while I’m wolfing down my Rendang?

Meeting my weird cousins

Isn’t it puzzling how some people you knew as a child, grow up and turn out to be complete strangers? Especially when they don’t grow up the way you expected them to.

The filial one becomes the rebel.

The cute and adorable little girl turns out to be a hunchback pimply slut.

The geeky bespectacled boy grows up to be a fair and charming dude.

The annoying noisy afro kid becomes an even more annoying and perverted adolescent

Funny how people change isn’t it? And I don’t even talk to any of them anymore. When around 10 years ago we were playing catching in CCs together after which I’ll get everyone in trouble for cooking up some random prank on one of my aunties. Well, at least they get to surprise me with their different forms of appearances every year.

However, relatively, I may seem like a weirdo in their point of view as well.

Competitive Comparison

Many parents are guilty of this. (Mine are) You know what I’m talking about. When parents begin their ballistic spewing, bragging about their children to our uncles and aunties while munching down cookies and kuih leaving us in the most awkward predicament ever imagined. Especially if you didn’t go to “that certain tertiary institution” or get “that diploma” or worse still of you’re in your late 20s and have no plans of settling down, you will be subjected to a barrage of defamation and derogatory leaving you helpless as they humiliate you mercilessly.

Undeniably, as much as I hate to admit it, it IS one of the driving forces that pushes me towards getting a job that’s simple, recognized and stable- To shut them up and do less explaining.

That’s about all I can think of at the moment. Clichés exist in everything we do and I suppose it’s a matter of perception that determines ones reaction.

Had a little debate with a friend of mine over the many perceptions of what LOVE truly is. I’m not gonna write about it its too Cliché. *smiles*

My farts smell like rotten rendang.


The one who surprisingly fasted for 30 days straight,

FUZZ

Complication

In each upheaval stands a chance to fall
In each fall stands a chance to break it
For every pursuit we make, we give our all,
There whispers a silent lie telling you
“Your not gonna make it”

A lie with any other name will sound as sweet,
A tale showering with glee till it makes me weep,
When revelations appear, I burst into gear,
Screaming a voiceless cry, trying hard to shed a tear.

Why so emo?
Why so sad?
C’mon chill its not that bad.

If it drives me in too deep,
I drift away to sleep.
If it leads me to a trap,
I jump it in a snap.

Much to my disbelief,
Sincerity is obsolete.
Grab what I can,
Have the world in my hand.

For this life is selfish as it is.

7 Stages Of An Ugly Relationship

The human mind serves us with many things that separates and defines us. Its unique form gives us personality, perception and aptitude in scuffling with the vagaries of life which at times, transcends our abilities. However, there is always a greater mind than yours. Just like there is always a person with a greater and more interesting personality.

A personality that is appealing and attractive.

Personality is simply my biggest requirement of traits when in search for a good companion or girlfriend. A good personality accompanied by an amicable character are the 2 conjunctive traits which turn me on.

So, as the human mind determines the nature, it is the natural, intrinsic allure which brings us closer to the people we are attracted to until you finally come to a stop. That’s when you’ve found someone. That’s when you’re in a relationship.

Here I shall expound my theory of the typical awry relationship stages we go through which I personally believe are timelessly relevant. Ok got a little over confident there. But It came to me when I was about to doze off in the bus on the way to work with “Art Of Life” blasting in my ear. Here we go.


This is the 1st stage as we know it. In my personal belief I strongly stand by the fact that a girl who looks good, and presents herself well will be showered with compliments and pardoned more often whenever she makes trivial mistakes. This world is cruel. No one even consider substance at the 1st impression as by nature we are perceived through superficial appearance before anything else. So, when you see that CUTE girl from across the room, you’re attracted, your Infatuated.

Then you start to look for substance in the person, to see if the person’s traits are compatible with yours. When you finally engage in a conversation, you find that you grow to like this person by the minute. You like her outgoing character, you like it when she teases, you love it when she cracks witty jokes, ultimately, you develop an Affinity.

Now that you’ve confirmed your stand on liking her, you only seem to find more things that attract you till it sends a wave of excitement through your mind. And considering the fact that you haven’t known her as well through time, you appreciate the things you see as you go along and as I mentioned earlier, superficiality always comes as the 1st strike! You enjoy being with her. Simply because of the fact that she turns you on every time. Don’t be alarmed at the “tent” you are pitching. You are simply In Lust.



You proceed by spending more time with her. You are hit with a kaleidoscope of emotions. Every time you meet her you have butterflies in your stomach. It now doesn’t matter if she develops pimples or dresses slovenly. You like her the way she is. You now don’t have a hint of an idea on why you feel so deeply for her. You simply do. You just want to satisfy your feeling of withdrawal when she is away by meeting her. Oh boy….your In Love *applause*



Your efforts were efficacious in having her at the palm of your hand. Or so you thought. She starts to change her mind like most women. She starts telling you things like “baby I want some time alone to clear things up in my head” She gives you excuses that whichever way it sounds, will seem most incongruous and outrageous to you. Though you allow her a little space for tranquility through solitude, you don’t feel right. You feel uneasy pacing across the room sweating copiously. At this point, you become In Need.


At this point, things begin to veer into a dire calamity. Anger and frustration begins to surge and you are now infuriated by her actions and the fact that she didn’t even take you feelings into consideration. After all the things you’ve done? After all the love you’ve given? After all the time, commitment and dedication you are under the impression that she should feel Indebt to you.

And finally, the weeks of torment you spend by your bedside waiting for the phone to ring comes to an end when she calls you! But what she told you on the phone sends your heart into palpitations. You can’t breathe. She wants to end it. Your simply too crazy for her to handle. Your petulant and temperamental nature sends chills down her spine. She wants you to do every girl in town a favour and marry a minah Indonesia. Your body feels sapped of energy. You can’t stop thinking about her. You want her but she’s gone away. You’ve ruined your chance. Now you sit in the corner of the room rocking to and fro singing “ring around the rosey”. You have officially gone INSANE!



Well isn’t love a beautiful thing? Again I remind you not to judge but to appreciate the allegorical aspect of my theories. I am not a know it all. I just call them how I see them. This is based on what I’ve seen. It sucks when it happens to you.

But don’t you just love the entertainment you get from watching others go through it together with you? ;-)


The best things in life are only enjoyable when shared.