Wednesday, November 7, 2007

People are evil

-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I wasted says:

how was ur day?


Empress of Moldova says:

Could've been better.


Empress of Moldova says:

Anyways......Tell me.... An ideal birthday present. For the man.


-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I wasted says:

HEAD


Empress of Moldova says:

FUCK!


Empress of Moldova says:

I knew it.


Empress of Moldova says:

Disgusting.


Empress of Moldova says:

That's all you men want from us......


Empress of Moldova says:

HEAD


Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny..what's for dinner... HEAD


Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.. where you bringing me to? HEAD BITCH!


Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.... are we going for a movie? NOT UNTIL YOU HEAD ME OFF !


Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny...... Do you love me? I LOVE YOU MORE IF YOU GIVE ME A GD HEAD EH TONIGHT SEXY


Empress of Moldova says:

Hunny.... Am I fat? NOT UNTIL I PUT MY HEAD IN YOU, YOU'RE NOT!


Empress of Moldova says:

Gee, what else?


Empress of Moldova says:

Pfft.


-FUZZ- I spent 90% of my money on women and drinks. The rest I

wasted says:

with a nice rose?


Empress of Moldova says:

FUZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




I reckon Adora was rather annoyed by my satire. Sigh. Girls are just so uptight sometimes.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if they were to loosen up a little....and by loosen up I mean the way they perceive things, not their legs.

With this in mind it led me thinking. I’ve notice something which is clearly evident, yet disputed by many with rhetorical alibis pointlessly defending what is as obvious as a hairy birthmark an inch in diameter on the side of a winking left eye:

Guys are assholes and girls are liars.

Yes we are and we know it. So it’s about time we came clean. And I am honored to bear the monumental responsibility to expound the truth. Let us begin with

The Assholes

Much to our sadness, the male gender has been struck with a bevy of assertions implying the ignorance and insensitivity in our nature of life. And I can’t possibly agree more to the assertions. It’s true. We ARE assholes.

However, it’s only because of the fact that it’s a primeval instinct which can only be completely wiped off if we either become gay, or die.

One of the main reasons why we are ascribed as assholes is because we prioritize sex.

As the active and productive party in reproduction it is only nature’s course to have us being more thrilled about sex. We make lewd comments every time a hot girl walks by, we have to talk about it at least 10 times a day, and in MOST cases, we’ll be the ones working our way to get it instead of the other way round. It’s astounding if you notice the extend some guys will go to just to get laid. Singing RnB tunes, buying flowers, taking her out for dinner, and LISTENING. Sleeping with girls is, in fact, considered an achievement!

So in this case, ladies, why not consider the more optimistic and amicable way of perceiving things by thinking of yourselves as “The Prize”? Appreciated, cherished, loved, and of immeasurable value.

Now tell me. Would an asshole succumb to such a caring behavior? Whatever it takes to win the prize- YES!


Another reason why we’re branded as an insensitive intolerant group of pigs is plain simple. EGO and SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Haven’t I mentioned the innate instinct that is sewn within our souls as men? The dominant species will naturally incline towards feeling superior. That doesn’t necessarily mean we are, we just feel like it. And in most cases the provider of a family is a male. So being raised in a household which gives such an idea will remain in us as a result of an upbringing.

That’s why we don’t need a girlfriend to tell us we look good or to say nice things to make us feel good about ourselves. We’re so full of it! And we share our gift by complimenting GIRLS. To make THEM feel good about themselves.

Because they simply need it.

Yes we’re assholes. But the world wouldn’t be straight if we weren’t.

The Liars

Gosh. Where do I start? I often ask that question when something gets to a point where there’s too much to say and everything I want to say bears similar magnitude. And what exactly about girl is it that gives me the impression that they are being false and pretentious?

EVERYTHING.

From the make up, the push up bras, the heels to their own clique of more pretentious and hypocritical beings they call their “girlfriends”. Your eyes don’t look that nice. Your lips aren’t their real colour and your boobs aren’t supposed to stick out as perky! You’re fooling everyone with your deceptive advertising. This works like a charm I must admit. I’ve fallen for a fair share of lies.

What about your friends? Half of whom you bitch and gossip about condemning their life’s decisions and relentlessly competing with to become more “it” than they are.

Oh such hypocrisy.

Oh such deceit.

When you say “it’s ok”, it’s not.

When you say “I miss you”, you don’t. You just enjoy our attention.

When you say “I don’t like these random guys calling me”, you do. You simply enjoy the fact that your HP beeps every five minutes because it gives you the sense of satisfaction knowing that you’re hot and wanted by many. Don’t give me that “I don’t like being popular” crap. You love it and you KNOW it.


Don’t get me wrong, just because their dolling themselves up to make them appear more attractive than they really are and saying sweet things to get me to believe what they say in order to avoid having me knowing the unbearable truth doesn’t make me HATE them, it makes me adore them more.

I love them just the way they are. Lie all you want. I’ll just shrug it off, pat you on the head and go “right, sure you love me”.





SO. What sort of conclusion do you expect to derive from all this? Well as cliche as it always sounds we should learn to appreciate each other regardless of our flaws. As long as what your doing fulfills the needs of both parties then I say go for it.

For this world is as selfish as it is.

I don't want a part in being pretentious.

Thats why I'm sailing alone for a looooooooong time.


FUZZ



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