Relative Delusions

All of us succumb to negative emotions once in a while regardless of how strong and secure we appear or profess to be. It’s how we assess ourselves from within that determines weather or not we are confident in handling the persistent obstacles in this long dance we call life.

The human mind is something I find incredibly remarkable. It possesses the ability to absorb a vast amount of information, masters the body’s physical movements, and not to mention ascribe intuition so much as to enable us to have these forceful surges called “feelings” or “moods”. This post is about something I realized for quite some time but never bothered to summon enough vim to put it up as food for thought for anyone.

You know how sometimes people refer to waking up on the “wrong side of the bed” as the start or cause of them having a bad day? Like how one minor unfavorable incident like that could unpleasantly affect the subsequent happenings for the rest of the day?

Have you ever wondered why when something bad happens to you which angers you, the rest of the things that come after it automatically become irritating and annoying? And when you score big time with some hot ass chick, a pain in the ass boss breathing down your neck doesn’t seem so bad?

I am able to relate to that sort of thing everyday and it’s simply because I believe that it is solely attributed to something I call “Relative Delusion”.

In layman’s terms – “Mood Shift”

It’s simple. The level of how we perceive what subsequently happens around us fluctuates depending on what affects our mood from the start.

Ok, the gist is I wish to write about a few occasions when this sort of thing affected me through different moods so here goes:

Happy

On one occasion, I scored a date with an awesome chick at Crazy Elephant. She has blue eyes, pale skin, good size, a little dumb but that’s ok. I was psyched about the date I planned with her that weekend. Burning with excitement!

However, that same week I had more work than a gay man in jail. I had to handle the training and administration for the parade, revolver shooting lessons, support work and listening to the ever demoralizing comments from my boss. Now usually, I would be deeply affected and dispirited. But due to the positive effect I gained from getting to know her, everything else became like stepping stones towards my agenda.

Lame

If there’s one movie that can put lame to shame is “Surfer King”. Go look it up it’s a budget film about some dude whose co-star is hotter than he is attempting to land a cool job at the beach resort for the summer. Apparently they went budget on the girls too. They looked like 30 year olds. Every minute of that movie was lame. We were watching it in the office and could bear endure the pain of finishing it. So we tried watching something else instead – Simpsons Movie. STILL lame.

Movie after movie we try our best to entertain ourselves but the lame effect that movie had on us automatically turned every hilarious or blockbuster movie into a lame sitcom.

Triumphant

Nothing beats the thrill of a power trip. When I hear the trainees or cadets answer me all at once with a resounding “Yes Sir!” when I’m up on the dais giving instructions in a parade rehearsal is simply orgasmic. I’m not gonna lie I LOVE being in control. But I’m not the only one unfortunately.

Just a week ago I was reprimanded for being rude to a veteran in the force they call the “Parade Legend”. Long story short, since that old hag is retiring soon, I named the rest of us young instructors the “Legend Killers”. (Originally from WWE’s Randy Orton who’s my current favorite needless to say) Here's why:

So, with that title ascribed to ourselves, we work with our heads up motivated and full spirited thriving on proving to everyone that we are indeed competent enough to overthrow a “legend” and make way for a new era.

Work has become more fun ever since.

Before I close this off and leave to join my family in Malacca for a holiday in a couple of hours, I would like to address an issue. I HAVE to at least mention it once or else it’ll be like having a white elephant in the living room and nobody says a thing.

We HAVEN’T caught that limp legged, potty breaking, ass wipe butthole Mas Selamat. My suggestion is get his wife and kids tied up and put em on ransom over national television. May seem unethical but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

May the police beat the living voodoo crap out of you for causing a massive traffic congestion at woodlands checkpoint EVERYDAY.

FUZZ