I KNOW

The despicable sight of you nauseates me because I KNOW.

I've been playing dumb, smiling and putting up a deceptive front but I KNOW.

All the things you said, all the things you did, all the things that you may think is history.....has only begun.

Your secrets were never safe with the person you trusted so dearly.

I FUCKING KNOW.

The both of you are DEAD to me.

I may forget but I will never forgive.


Although I had the last laugh, both of you don't deserve my time.

Now be deceased while I move on with triumph.


Your game is UP! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Five Rules For Men

Five Rules For Men

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.


Can't believe I never told this earlier.

FUZZ

"Cannot Use Hand Play. This Is Not Malay Drum. Please Take Extra Drum Stick At Cashier"

Cracked me up like hell.



Me and My Grandpa




you know i'm LAZY when i start using less words.


FUZZ

Wise Men Still Stupid

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said,

"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied.

"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Three?"

"That's right," Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Oh no," the man said,

"actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates.

"So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"Well it....no, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.

Relative Delusions

All of us succumb to negative emotions once in a while regardless of how strong and secure we appear or profess to be. It’s how we assess ourselves from within that determines weather or not we are confident in handling the persistent obstacles in this long dance we call life.

The human mind is something I find incredibly remarkable. It possesses the ability to absorb a vast amount of information, masters the body’s physical movements, and not to mention ascribe intuition so much as to enable us to have these forceful surges called “feelings” or “moods”. This post is about something I realized for quite some time but never bothered to summon enough vim to put it up as food for thought for anyone.

You know how sometimes people refer to waking up on the “wrong side of the bed” as the start or cause of them having a bad day? Like how one minor unfavorable incident like that could unpleasantly affect the subsequent happenings for the rest of the day?

Have you ever wondered why when something bad happens to you which angers you, the rest of the things that come after it automatically become irritating and annoying? And when you score big time with some hot ass chick, a pain in the ass boss breathing down your neck doesn’t seem so bad?

I am able to relate to that sort of thing everyday and it’s simply because I believe that it is solely attributed to something I call “Relative Delusion”.

In layman’s terms – “Mood Shift”

It’s simple. The level of how we perceive what subsequently happens around us fluctuates depending on what affects our mood from the start.

Ok, the gist is I wish to write about a few occasions when this sort of thing affected me through different moods so here goes:

Happy

On one occasion, I scored a date with an awesome chick at Crazy Elephant. She has blue eyes, pale skin, good size, a little dumb but that’s ok. I was psyched about the date I planned with her that weekend. Burning with excitement!

However, that same week I had more work than a gay man in jail. I had to handle the training and administration for the parade, revolver shooting lessons, support work and listening to the ever demoralizing comments from my boss. Now usually, I would be deeply affected and dispirited. But due to the positive effect I gained from getting to know her, everything else became like stepping stones towards my agenda.

Lame

If there’s one movie that can put lame to shame is “Surfer King”. Go look it up it’s a budget film about some dude whose co-star is hotter than he is attempting to land a cool job at the beach resort for the summer. Apparently they went budget on the girls too. They looked like 30 year olds. Every minute of that movie was lame. We were watching it in the office and could bear endure the pain of finishing it. So we tried watching something else instead – Simpsons Movie. STILL lame.

Movie after movie we try our best to entertain ourselves but the lame effect that movie had on us automatically turned every hilarious or blockbuster movie into a lame sitcom.

Triumphant

Nothing beats the thrill of a power trip. When I hear the trainees or cadets answer me all at once with a resounding “Yes Sir!” when I’m up on the dais giving instructions in a parade rehearsal is simply orgasmic. I’m not gonna lie I LOVE being in control. But I’m not the only one unfortunately.

Just a week ago I was reprimanded for being rude to a veteran in the force they call the “Parade Legend”. Long story short, since that old hag is retiring soon, I named the rest of us young instructors the “Legend Killers”. (Originally from WWE’s Randy Orton who’s my current favorite needless to say) Here's why:

So, with that title ascribed to ourselves, we work with our heads up motivated and full spirited thriving on proving to everyone that we are indeed competent enough to overthrow a “legend” and make way for a new era.

Work has become more fun ever since.

Before I close this off and leave to join my family in Malacca for a holiday in a couple of hours, I would like to address an issue. I HAVE to at least mention it once or else it’ll be like having a white elephant in the living room and nobody says a thing.

We HAVEN’T caught that limp legged, potty breaking, ass wipe butthole Mas Selamat. My suggestion is get his wife and kids tied up and put em on ransom over national television. May seem unethical but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

May the police beat the living voodoo crap out of you for causing a massive traffic congestion at woodlands checkpoint EVERYDAY.

FUZZ

Some Girls Don't Give Head

A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the man.

"You know I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman.

"You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno... Never found the head..."

Words of a Thug

A heartfelt song written by Tupac in response to Deloris C. Tucker who was an adamant protester against rap music for its coarse language. Mainly the frequent use of the common term - "bitch".

Along with it also brings a powerful message across to society directed at the women who use their beauty or charm to exploit the men they hook up with for money and luxuries in return for sex.

Enjoy and Learn

Wonda Why They Call You Bitch



You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.
You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.
You wonda why they call U bitch
You wonda why they call U bitch.

Verse One: 2Pac

Look here Miss Thang
hate to salt your game
but yous a money hungry woman
and you need to change.

In tha locker room
all the homies do is laugh.
High five's 'cause anotha nigga
played your ass.

It was said you were sleeezy
even easy
sleepin around for what
you need

See it's your thang
and you can shake it how you wanna.
Give it up free
or make your money on the corner.

But don't be bad and play the game
get mad and change.
Then you wonda why these muthaf**kas
call you names.

Still lookin' for a way out
and that's OK
I can see you wanna stray
there's a way out.

Keep your mind on your money,
enroll in school.
And as the years pass by
you can show them fools.

But you ain't tryin' to hear me
'cause your stuck,
you're headin' for the bathroom
'bout to get tossed up.

Still lookin' for a rich man
you dug a ditch,
got your legs up
tryin' to get rich.

I love you like a sista
but you need to switch
and that's why they called
U bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Verse Two: 2Pac

You leave your kids with your mama
'cause your headin' for the club
in a skin tight miniskirt
lookin' for some love.

Got them legs wide open
while you're sittin' at the bar
Talkin' to some nigga
'bout his car.

I guess he said he
had a Lexxxus, what's next?
You headin' to his car for some sex

I pass by
can't hold back tears inside
'cause, lord knows
for years I tried.

And all the other people
on my block hate your guts
Then you wonda why they stare
and call you slut.

It's like your mind don't understand
you don't have to kill your
dreams ploten'
schemes on a man

Keep your head up, legs closed, eyes open
either a nigga wear a rubber or he die smokin'
I'm hearin' rumors so you need to switch
and niggas wouldn't call you bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Verse Three: 2Pac

I guess times gettin' hard
even harder for you
'cause, hey now, got a baby
on the way now

More money from the county
and thanks to the welfare
you're about to
get your hair done.

Got a dinner date
can't be late
trick or treat, sweet thang
got anotha trick to meet.

The way he did it
it was smooth
plottin' while he gamin' you
So baby, peep tha rules.

I shoulda seen it in the first case
the worst case
I shoulda never called you back
in the first place.

I remember back in high school
baby you was fast
straight sex
and barely move your ass.

But now things change
'cause you don't look the same
let the ghetto get the best of you
baby, that's a shame

Caught HIV and now you 'bout to be deceased
and finally be in peace.

So where your niggas at now
'cause everybody left
they stepped
and left you on your own

See I loved you like a sista
but you died to quick
And that's why we called U bitch, I betcha.

Chorus

Outro: 2Pac

Dear Ms. Deloris Tucker
keep stressen me
f**kin' with a muthaf**ken mind
I figured you wanted to know
you know
why we call them hos bitches
and maybe this might help you understand
it ain't personal
strictly business baby
strictly business

So If you wonder why we call U bitch
You wonder why we call U bitch
If you wonder why we call U bitch
You wonder why we call U bitch




Now you know

FUZZ