THE LAST SONG

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Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

FUZZ

If I could summarize the reason as to why I am in such a cantankerous mood into two words they would be – “Fucking Parade”.

I have never experienced anything even remotely as mentally taxing, physically debilitating and as brutal as organizing a parade. It’s far from hell. It’s DEATH. For those of you who don’t know I am currently busy being one of the head trainers for biggest event in the largest uniform organization in Singapore - The NPCC Annual Parade. However, I would not venture as far as to judge the whole experience too soon as this Saturday is the actual day and I have yet to witness the fruits of my toiling labour.

If I shut up about it then you can infer that it wasn’t as big a success as I hoped it would be.

I promise to be happier next week as I have laid out various activities for me which shall continue my streak of awesomeness.

Just a little update to tell you guys to stay tuned. I leave you with a tune that reflects much on what is felt when I’m wallowing in the depths of emotions.

THE GREAT PRETENDER

Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Pretending I'm doing well (ooh ooh ooh)
My need is such
I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no-one can tell

Oh yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Adrift in a world of my own (ooh ooh ooh)
I play the game
But to my real shame
You've left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of make (make believe) believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Oh oh, yes I'm the great pretender (ooh ooh ooh)
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see (ooh you see)
I'm wearing my heart like a clown
Pretend that you're still around
Yeah-eah, wooh hoo

Too real (real) when I feel (feel) what my heart can't conceal

Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown (ooh ooh ooh)
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a clown
Pretend that you're
Pretend that you're still around

Fuck what you all think. I LOVE Queen.

FUZZ

I KNOW

The despicable sight of you nauseates me because I KNOW.

I've been playing dumb, smiling and putting up a deceptive front but I KNOW.

All the things you said, all the things you did, all the things that you may think is history.....has only begun.

Your secrets were never safe with the person you trusted so dearly.

I FUCKING KNOW.

The both of you are DEAD to me.

I may forget but I will never forgive.


Although I had the last laugh, both of you don't deserve my time.

Now be deceased while I move on with triumph.


Your game is UP! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Five Rules For Men

Five Rules For Men

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.


Can't believe I never told this earlier.

FUZZ

"Cannot Use Hand Play. This Is Not Malay Drum. Please Take Extra Drum Stick At Cashier"

Cracked me up like hell.



Me and My Grandpa




you know i'm LAZY when i start using less words.


FUZZ

Wise Men Still Stupid

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said,

"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied.

"Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Three?"

"That's right," Socrates continued.

"Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"Oh no," the man said,

"actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates.

"So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates interrupted, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"Well it....no, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was having an affair with his wife.

Relative Delusions

All of us succumb to negative emotions once in a while regardless of how strong and secure we appear or profess to be. It’s how we assess ourselves from within that determines weather or not we are confident in handling the persistent obstacles in this long dance we call life.

The human mind is something I find incredibly remarkable. It possesses the ability to absorb a vast amount of information, masters the body’s physical movements, and not to mention ascribe intuition so much as to enable us to have these forceful surges called “feelings” or “moods”. This post is about something I realized for quite some time but never bothered to summon enough vim to put it up as food for thought for anyone.

You know how sometimes people refer to waking up on the “wrong side of the bed” as the start or cause of them having a bad day? Like how one minor unfavorable incident like that could unpleasantly affect the subsequent happenings for the rest of the day?

Have you ever wondered why when something bad happens to you which angers you, the rest of the things that come after it automatically become irritating and annoying? And when you score big time with some hot ass chick, a pain in the ass boss breathing down your neck doesn’t seem so bad?

I am able to relate to that sort of thing everyday and it’s simply because I believe that it is solely attributed to something I call “Relative Delusion”.

In layman’s terms – “Mood Shift”

It’s simple. The level of how we perceive what subsequently happens around us fluctuates depending on what affects our mood from the start.

Ok, the gist is I wish to write about a few occasions when this sort of thing affected me through different moods so here goes:

Happy

On one occasion, I scored a date with an awesome chick at Crazy Elephant. She has blue eyes, pale skin, good size, a little dumb but that’s ok. I was psyched about the date I planned with her that weekend. Burning with excitement!

However, that same week I had more work than a gay man in jail. I had to handle the training and administration for the parade, revolver shooting lessons, support work and listening to the ever demoralizing comments from my boss. Now usually, I would be deeply affected and dispirited. But due to the positive effect I gained from getting to know her, everything else became like stepping stones towards my agenda.

Lame

If there’s one movie that can put lame to shame is “Surfer King”. Go look it up it’s a budget film about some dude whose co-star is hotter than he is attempting to land a cool job at the beach resort for the summer. Apparently they went budget on the girls too. They looked like 30 year olds. Every minute of that movie was lame. We were watching it in the office and could bear endure the pain of finishing it. So we tried watching something else instead – Simpsons Movie. STILL lame.

Movie after movie we try our best to entertain ourselves but the lame effect that movie had on us automatically turned every hilarious or blockbuster movie into a lame sitcom.

Triumphant

Nothing beats the thrill of a power trip. When I hear the trainees or cadets answer me all at once with a resounding “Yes Sir!” when I’m up on the dais giving instructions in a parade rehearsal is simply orgasmic. I’m not gonna lie I LOVE being in control. But I’m not the only one unfortunately.

Just a week ago I was reprimanded for being rude to a veteran in the force they call the “Parade Legend”. Long story short, since that old hag is retiring soon, I named the rest of us young instructors the “Legend Killers”. (Originally from WWE’s Randy Orton who’s my current favorite needless to say) Here's why:

So, with that title ascribed to ourselves, we work with our heads up motivated and full spirited thriving on proving to everyone that we are indeed competent enough to overthrow a “legend” and make way for a new era.

Work has become more fun ever since.

Before I close this off and leave to join my family in Malacca for a holiday in a couple of hours, I would like to address an issue. I HAVE to at least mention it once or else it’ll be like having a white elephant in the living room and nobody says a thing.

We HAVEN’T caught that limp legged, potty breaking, ass wipe butthole Mas Selamat. My suggestion is get his wife and kids tied up and put em on ransom over national television. May seem unethical but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

May the police beat the living voodoo crap out of you for causing a massive traffic congestion at woodlands checkpoint EVERYDAY.

FUZZ